It always seems like I have trouble going to sleep when I don't have personal time for myself to do something after work. No matter if I had fun going out with others or doing something in a group, I need my personal space and time. So that's why I'm still up at this hour.

I was thinking about the last few days that I've been taking care of my dog. Before, I never understood why my dog was barking all the time. I'd come home, walk him and give him his treats and then I'd go inside after he was done and he'd start barking. Normally I'd go outside and tell him to stop or grab his mouth and tell him, "no barking." But the past couple of days I've been thinking about what he actually might be trying to tell me.

My dog would be inside the whole day and basically be by himself. I noticed that when I pet him his back would be all tight and after I'd pet him for what seems like 15 minutes, I'd find that he wouldn't bother me for the rest of the night. All he wanted was some love from the person taking care of him.

It made me feel bad for the other times that I took care of him and told him to shut up basically. And it's rare to find people nowadays who actually have time or want to spend time with you. Everyone is so busy with their lives that you either have to make an appointment with a person's and your schedule, or you be lazy and don't do anything. With my dog however, he is like my kid, except that he doesn't hold any malice and always forgives you no matter how late you are to walk him. He's just glad that you showed up.

Anyway, comparing this to my life, I feel that sometimes in my relationship with God, (not saying that God is like a dog, or we're like dogs to God,) I find that all He wants from us is to love Him, and to love others. That you "treat people the same you want them to treat you," (Matthew 7:12. context Matthew 7:1-13,) or you help those in need (Matthew 25:31-46.)

And yet, even though I know all of this, I fail to do this most everyday. I mean, what does this look like in everyday life? I guess I need to think about these verses and my own life and remember them when the time comes to do what God has placed before me.

As one of my friends stated, "you've been saying some of the same things for the past several years. What's the moral to your story?" My response was, "there is no moral." But maybe my friend was right. Maybe I'm not getting it, because I'm not learning from my mistakes. I think my problem is that I don't think ahead and I'm always caught off guard when things do happen. I can't think on the spot, I need to deal with familiar situations, which doesn't always happen before they actually happen. Preparation is key, in life and in faith.

If you're not prepared, then you'll most likely fail. Unless you're good on the spot and can learn heck of quickly. I want that to be the theme of my life. Preparation and preparedness. I can't take life anymore this way as I'm feeling like I'm useless and not doing anybody any good. Guess the goal should be relationship with God first, relationships with people 2nd, and everything else after that. Hopefully I can pull this off. Guess discipline comes into play here. Something I lack a lot of lately, given my weight and my tardiness. Guess I need to get my act together.