A wedding and a friend from out of town

Okay, so I posted a lot today...anyway, yesterday, August 22nd, I went to a friend's wedding. The 2nd wedding in 2 weeks and I really didn't want to go. For some reason, a part of me wants to stay home and relax on the weekend and not do anything with anyone, because I want my time to be my time. But when I do go to social events, I do find that I feel better and my next week is a lot better.

Anyway, I was feeling kind of antisocial and I didn't want to go, but I did go. I guess in new situations, especially with people I don't know, it is unknown and that bothers me. The new people don't bother me, don't get me wrong, it's the feelings that I get that bother me of not knowing.

I went and saw some familiar faces, saw a great wedding, saw two people that are really cool have the party of their lives, and got to dance a little bit (even though I'm terrible at dancing heh.) I had a great time there and I was glad that I went. Everyone was so happy and the bride and groom were honored among friends and family.

I forgot my camera, so I can't tell you what the place looked like, but it was a really nice place. The place looked like it was some place in Hawaii. Nice garden, the reception house had colorful paintings and stained wood. It was the perfect place for their wedding, because it fit their character.

We met this guy we met in college at AACF. He went to the neighboring college and visited AACF a few times and then I never saw him again until this wedding...well maybe once at a retreat center before that...Very nice guy and a very good guy. He is a chaplain at a hospital in California. Anyway, it's interesting to see where people have gone since college as one friend was saying. People have become full fledged adults and are working doing something as a profession.

I always respect those who go into the ministry, because they sacrifice a lot for other people and God. Sometimes some sacrifice their own life for others and God...it costs them something to help others and it makes a difference in other people's lives.

Anyway, it was a good wedding and it made me think about my own life a little bit more. When they were talking about the groom in the ceremony, they brought all these good points about him. I was thinking, "yeah, these are all true." But then I thought to myself, man, I'm lacking compared to him. I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but it was a wake up call that I'm getting older and I should be further along than I am now.

Someone said recently that "most guys don't take their seriously. You see all these women who do, and their husbands are just kind of tagging along." I have to kind of agree with him...as I was kind of bumming around (I'm not married though) and not really doing what I should be doing.

Anyway, just some thoughts that I've been thinking about. I keep on thinking about the reason why I was born. Why am I the way I am now? What purpose do I have here on earth? And I know that whether or not I get married, or whether or not I have a good job or am doing awesome things, it all doesn't matter in comparison to giving God honor. That's something that struck me about what the groom said to his girlfriend, now wife, was that, "God's glory first, us second."



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Bump forward a day and one of my friends from college is in town because of the wedding. We got together for dinner with a group of friends that we knew from AACF. It was a good time of fellowship and food. I'm always impressed with how much he's grown since college. I remember times when he would complain and I would listen to him because that's what friends do. But now, he's the one who tries to support others and serve God as much as he can. He went on a mission to South America recently and even though he doesn't know why God sent him down there, I'm sure that God has His purposes for calling people do things that we cannot understand now. I know that my friend knows this also. He was obdient to God's calling and obdience to God shows love for God. To obey is better than sacrifice.

Anyway, we went to Red Robin and then Starbucks afterwards. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad that I went.

The part in me that wants to stay home and do what I want to do is something that I battle everyday. "Sometimes, you have to do what you don't want to do." (a line from a cartoon I watched as a kid. Mighty Max.) Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what is good for you rather than sitting back and letting things happen.

But taking a line from today's sermon, I must prepare for when God tells me to do something. I must wait. But then again, I've been talking about things like this for a long time and no fruit has come out of it. Well, one day at a time. One day at a time. Like the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "I'm living the next 5 minutes, because these next 5 minutes may be all I have." I don't know why, but I don't think that I will live to a very old age for some reason. Not sure why, but maybe it's nothing and just paranoia taking over.

Okay, so someone leaked out that I have a different blog besides my Japan one, so one of my friends might be reading this also...oh well...guess if you tell someone something, you can't expect them to keep it a secret. Especially when you don't tell them to keep it a secret.

Anyway, June and Mike's wedding was yesterday. Traffic going north was pretty bad. I should have left earlier, but I wasn't thinking about getting my shirt ironed and tying a tie. But it was a good wedding. They both looked so happy and I'm happy for them.

Mike is a great dancer. It seemed like he never repeated a dance move for a different song. I was amazed at how many moves he has. I guess that it's all about feeling the music.

I couldn't find my camera, so I didn't take any pictures. But I like to use my memory more than pictures anyway. Even though pictures can be a nice reminder...

So I am trying to study Japanese more. I know that I tried this for a long time with no success. Especially with all the distractions around me. I just keep on getting reminded of Japan each time I study and I feel kind of like I failed each time I think about Japan. I kind of wonder what purpose I had there. Did I do any good there? Or was I just too focused on doing my job that I missed out on what God had in store for me. It was really tough as I don't really talk that much and make friends all that easily. But I do remember that it was a once in a lifetime experience which I will probably never have again, unless I do a mission. I feel like I just didn't do what I was supposed to do there. I didn't feel like I helped kids to learn English that well, and not making it to church myself, I was spiritually weak. I guess these are lessons that I need to carry over to here in the US.

Anyway, I need to focus on what I want to do with my life. I'm getting older and I can't keep on living with my parents forever. I'm tired of everyone trying to push me to go further in my life. Frankly they're only making me angry and making me not wanting to be with them. Especially family...but I know they mean well. It doesn't work that way with me though. If I want to do something, I'll do it. Not because someone tells me to do something. When my parents tell me to do this or that, I only feel like a little kid again...never able to do what I could on my own. Maybe I should move out. But where would I move out to? I guess I could always rent a studio. Anyway...my growth has come through steps that I took on my own most of the time. I never really listened to my parents, because they really don't know how to talk to me about things. I guess it's time to take responsibility for my own life. But we'll see where I go.