Sometimes you want to complain about life, but really, the internet is not always the best place to do it. Anyway, lots of stress is building on my shoulders.
That could be why I missed church today and got 13 hours of sleep. I just kept on going back to sleep. I don't feel like getting out of bed anymore, because of all the early classes that I have to take. Really, the sooner this quarter ends, the better.
On another note, one of my friends at church doesn't even have enough money to eat. It's a good thing Evan suggested that we give him some food. I consider myself really lucky compared to one of my friends who doesn't even have enough money to eat. I complain about how cold it is in the apartment, but really, it's better than having no roof over one's head. Man, I wonder if the people before me did the same thing with using no heat...
Anyway, one positive thing that I kept thinking about this weekend was an email sent by JC to some people who were old timers, including me. He basically invited us to come to the worship night at AACF, because he and G Sak, Jon G, and Abe were giving some testimonies as to what AACF has meant to them. As some of you know, the Passion of Christ came out this past wednesday...dude, it looks pretty good, but painful.
Here's some of the email:
(JC's invitation for AACF's praise night)
Stone: Thanks. I'll go to our conference room and die now.
Reg: Passion of the Stone?...heh
Josh: you mean,
passing of the stone...?
hahahahhaah
Aquaman lives again!
Me: > Ouch, PAINFUL!!! If you've seen the movie of Gar C, you'll know
> what I mean. heh...sorry ladies
Stone: It pleases me to see that three years later, you are all still dorks.
Sorry Garrett for that comment there, but the Painful movie that you and Chong made was funny though. Oh the little things in life that give us joy!
Sunday, February 29, 2004
The day is gone
Last night, I went to fellowship and came home at 3:30am. We were playing Star Wars Epic Duels after we finished up doing what was planned. All in all, it was a good night, but I paid for it today. After my parents picked me up at 11, I came home and slept till 5pm.
Man, the missions form is/was due today and I have yet to give my reference forms to the people that I have yet to ask. Plus the questions they ask kind of worry me, as my relationship with God is struggling right now. Spending time with God has become very hard because every time that I try to do that...I fall asleep. Overall, things are not looking good.
Even though things look pretty bad right now, I am still going to turn in the missions form just to see what will happen. Maybe it's not my time to go on a mission...but then again, I can't ignore what I think God is calling me to do. This journey I started 4 years ago has been crazy in some areas I took chances and risks in. But, they've all been good.
I personally think that I'm not going to be around for a long time. I don't know why exactly, but I think that maybe my future will be short for some reason. Anyway, it's only a thought, and it makes me think what I'm doing now.
I listened to a sermon by Tony Campolo from his website. Something that I've been afraid of, he spoke about. (yes, I do talk like Yoda from time to time.) But yeah, he talked about really living LIFE. A message that I heard from another guy named Brandt Luke at a retreat in 2000. Really living...I mean, really LIVING with joy and excitement, I've only experienced for a short time after I became a Christian. The school year after I became a Christian was just tough and I stopped living for awhile.
I do feel like I'm not really living life to the fullest...I'm just so busy all the time. But, one thing that stuck out to me from his sermon was that people who do not take any risks never get married and never have any friends. Playing it safe is not a way to live life. However, don't get me wrong with mistaking risks for some stupid risk. There's a difference between choosing something good and something that's just not smart to do, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I've gone on a lot of tangents right now, but the main thing is that I need to turn in my missions form as soon as possible and talk to the people that I've chosen as references.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I was thinking of going to South America for mission this summer and then to Japan? I'm not sure if this is what I should be doing, but I think that this is what I should be doing. Japan, however, I'm not so sure as to if this is what I should be doing, but we'll see what will happen. God will confirm it somehow if I should go or not...but as of right now, I'm going to pray a lot more.
Last night, I went to fellowship and came home at 3:30am. We were playing Star Wars Epic Duels after we finished up doing what was planned. All in all, it was a good night, but I paid for it today. After my parents picked me up at 11, I came home and slept till 5pm.
Man, the missions form is/was due today and I have yet to give my reference forms to the people that I have yet to ask. Plus the questions they ask kind of worry me, as my relationship with God is struggling right now. Spending time with God has become very hard because every time that I try to do that...I fall asleep. Overall, things are not looking good.
Even though things look pretty bad right now, I am still going to turn in the missions form just to see what will happen. Maybe it's not my time to go on a mission...but then again, I can't ignore what I think God is calling me to do. This journey I started 4 years ago has been crazy in some areas I took chances and risks in. But, they've all been good.
I personally think that I'm not going to be around for a long time. I don't know why exactly, but I think that maybe my future will be short for some reason. Anyway, it's only a thought, and it makes me think what I'm doing now.
I listened to a sermon by Tony Campolo from his website. Something that I've been afraid of, he spoke about. (yes, I do talk like Yoda from time to time.) But yeah, he talked about really living LIFE. A message that I heard from another guy named Brandt Luke at a retreat in 2000. Really living...I mean, really LIVING with joy and excitement, I've only experienced for a short time after I became a Christian. The school year after I became a Christian was just tough and I stopped living for awhile.
I do feel like I'm not really living life to the fullest...I'm just so busy all the time. But, one thing that stuck out to me from his sermon was that people who do not take any risks never get married and never have any friends. Playing it safe is not a way to live life. However, don't get me wrong with mistaking risks for some stupid risk. There's a difference between choosing something good and something that's just not smart to do, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I've gone on a lot of tangents right now, but the main thing is that I need to turn in my missions form as soon as possible and talk to the people that I've chosen as references.
Oh yeah, did I mention that I was thinking of going to South America for mission this summer and then to Japan? I'm not sure if this is what I should be doing, but I think that this is what I should be doing. Japan, however, I'm not so sure as to if this is what I should be doing, but we'll see what will happen. God will confirm it somehow if I should go or not...but as of right now, I'm going to pray a lot more.
Monday, February 23, 2004
kyo no kurasu (today's class)
Last night, I stayed up late working on my HW for class today. I was happy that I got it done, but not so happy that I didn't read the assignment for today. Anyway, luckily the whole class didn't read the assignment either, so we just paired up and read it on our own in class instead of reading it together as a big group. (Our class assignments have vocab. lists so we can look up the words that we don't know on those.)
The teacher is a pretty nice teacher in terms of how she grades and who she calls on to give an answer. I must admit that I misjudged her at the beginning of the school year where if we didn't do the Homework we were put in a corner behind the TV so we couldn't copy the answers. That kind of made me angry, but it was a good lesson that I need to really do my Homework and not rely on coasting by.
So, I think that she made me into a better student by that method of putting me and the other students behind the TV. I still, however haven't received my midterm yet...I think that I did kind of bad because I couldn't copy the answers from class...so that is one reason why I've picked up my HW studies.
Anyway, I think that I did pretty well in class today, despite how poor I am in Japanese compared to everyone else.
Last night, I stayed up late working on my HW for class today. I was happy that I got it done, but not so happy that I didn't read the assignment for today. Anyway, luckily the whole class didn't read the assignment either, so we just paired up and read it on our own in class instead of reading it together as a big group. (Our class assignments have vocab. lists so we can look up the words that we don't know on those.)
The teacher is a pretty nice teacher in terms of how she grades and who she calls on to give an answer. I must admit that I misjudged her at the beginning of the school year where if we didn't do the Homework we were put in a corner behind the TV so we couldn't copy the answers. That kind of made me angry, but it was a good lesson that I need to really do my Homework and not rely on coasting by.
So, I think that she made me into a better student by that method of putting me and the other students behind the TV. I still, however haven't received my midterm yet...I think that I did kind of bad because I couldn't copy the answers from class...so that is one reason why I've picked up my HW studies.
Anyway, I think that I did pretty well in class today, despite how poor I am in Japanese compared to everyone else.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Still thinking of going to Japan. I wrote a lot in the entry before, but I figure that it was mostly me babbling. Anyway to make this concise, I am still praying about going to Japan to teach English.
One thing that Japanese people get confused with Christianity is that they think that America is a Christian nation. And that everyone here is Christian. It is true that most people consider themselves Christian. 84% said they were Christian in a poll or something like that. However, that was a poll, and the truth of the fact is that the majority of people in America are not Christian. The point is that Japanese people often get Christianity confused as a western thing. Jesus is not a western thing, but something for everyone. I really believe that, because God has been so good to me. Jesus has done a lot in my life.
Anyway, I'm still trying to digest the information that I learned at this conference. I'm not sure if I should go to Japan, but I think that I should at least try and not be caught finding that the position has already been filled.
One of my friends has been praying for direction in my life, and I'm very thankful for that. Even though this is going against my own will, I'm thinking that maybe this is what God wants me to do.
One thing that Japanese people get confused with Christianity is that they think that America is a Christian nation. And that everyone here is Christian. It is true that most people consider themselves Christian. 84% said they were Christian in a poll or something like that. However, that was a poll, and the truth of the fact is that the majority of people in America are not Christian. The point is that Japanese people often get Christianity confused as a western thing. Jesus is not a western thing, but something for everyone. I really believe that, because God has been so good to me. Jesus has done a lot in my life.
Anyway, I'm still trying to digest the information that I learned at this conference. I'm not sure if I should go to Japan, but I think that I should at least try and not be caught finding that the position has already been filled.
One of my friends has been praying for direction in my life, and I'm very thankful for that. Even though this is going against my own will, I'm thinking that maybe this is what God wants me to do.
Monday, February 16, 2004
It's been a long day. I can only say that Sundays are sometimes really good, or sometimes really long. As of right now, I just want to vegge out. But it was a good sunday, and I'm still thinking about today.
Today, Pastor Kerry talked about stepping out of our circles of comfort and taking a step out of our comfort zones. He talked about how we must listen to God more than men. Peter and some other apostle were told not to teach the people about Jesus, but they said that they must obey God more than men. Check it out in Acts 5:17-42.
Anyway, he talked about how our friends or even governments might tell us not to tell people about Jesus and that we might face troubles because of obeying God and not people.
He also taught us that God uses ordinary people to do great works. People who are not perfect. In the Bible there are many examples of people who have failed in some way or another. People then are no different from people today in many respects.
Anyway, the main point that he was giving to us was that we are supposed to be reaching out to this world and forgetting the rules of this world that confine us to be for ourselves. Anyway, I'd say that this has gotten me thinking about today.
Anyway, today, one of my friends sort of got me to do something that I really didn't want to do. Drive. It was kind of inconvenient to do all these things at a certain time, and I was getting annoyed at it. Plus I think that my friend's friends didn't really like me all that much. But I guess I can't help that.
But it got me thinking about what love is all about. Despite how inconvenient some things are, sometimes you go out of your way to do something for someone else. I must admit that I am very low on that and I was kind of grumbling...but maybe this is something that was used to teach me about love.
Anyway, I felt kind of bad, because I couldn't drop them off exactly where they needed to be, but I think that it was good enough. But man, I think that I'm learning that I really don't like people telling me what to do, instead of them asking me if I'd be willing to do it. It's kind of like not giving a person a chance to say no to something.
I have a lot to work on still. I guess the way you grow is to actually be taken out of your comfort zone. Saying that doing things that seem hard or are hard will make one stronger. Being stretched to become bigger.
Today, Pastor Kerry talked about stepping out of our circles of comfort and taking a step out of our comfort zones. He talked about how we must listen to God more than men. Peter and some other apostle were told not to teach the people about Jesus, but they said that they must obey God more than men. Check it out in Acts 5:17-42.
Anyway, he talked about how our friends or even governments might tell us not to tell people about Jesus and that we might face troubles because of obeying God and not people.
He also taught us that God uses ordinary people to do great works. People who are not perfect. In the Bible there are many examples of people who have failed in some way or another. People then are no different from people today in many respects.
Anyway, the main point that he was giving to us was that we are supposed to be reaching out to this world and forgetting the rules of this world that confine us to be for ourselves. Anyway, I'd say that this has gotten me thinking about today.
Anyway, today, one of my friends sort of got me to do something that I really didn't want to do. Drive. It was kind of inconvenient to do all these things at a certain time, and I was getting annoyed at it. Plus I think that my friend's friends didn't really like me all that much. But I guess I can't help that.
But it got me thinking about what love is all about. Despite how inconvenient some things are, sometimes you go out of your way to do something for someone else. I must admit that I am very low on that and I was kind of grumbling...but maybe this is something that was used to teach me about love.
Anyway, I felt kind of bad, because I couldn't drop them off exactly where they needed to be, but I think that it was good enough. But man, I think that I'm learning that I really don't like people telling me what to do, instead of them asking me if I'd be willing to do it. It's kind of like not giving a person a chance to say no to something.
I have a lot to work on still. I guess the way you grow is to actually be taken out of your comfort zone. Saying that doing things that seem hard or are hard will make one stronger. Being stretched to become bigger.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Down time
Had a lot of time planned to study in the library today, but ended up sleeping for the whole time there. About 4 hours sitting in a chair. Not what I planned, but maybe what I needed and not needed. The reason why I went to the library in the first place is that I have two midterms on monday, an interview on Tuesday for Japanese, and a midterm on Thursday for that class. This weekend is going to be a rough weekend in general. But hey, that's what I'm here for.
I guess if I had planned a little bit better, I could have hung out with my friends tonight.
One thing that I've been thinking about a lot lately is that I might not be so sure about going to Japan. I'm not sure if this is something that God has planned for me or not. Anyway, more praying is necessary to determine what God is trying to say to me.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, I don't hear God's voice talking to me. But the direction that I think that He wants me to take is something that I have to be aware of before I take it. Anyway, my time here at school is really telling me that maybe I'm not cut out for missions if I can't even really reach out to people here. I mean, it's not a problem to talk to people, but fear is overcoming me and I'm pretty sure that it will overcome me still if I don't deal with it now.
Things aren't so clear right now. But they will be...hopefully.
Had a lot of time planned to study in the library today, but ended up sleeping for the whole time there. About 4 hours sitting in a chair. Not what I planned, but maybe what I needed and not needed. The reason why I went to the library in the first place is that I have two midterms on monday, an interview on Tuesday for Japanese, and a midterm on Thursday for that class. This weekend is going to be a rough weekend in general. But hey, that's what I'm here for.
I guess if I had planned a little bit better, I could have hung out with my friends tonight.
One thing that I've been thinking about a lot lately is that I might not be so sure about going to Japan. I'm not sure if this is something that God has planned for me or not. Anyway, more praying is necessary to determine what God is trying to say to me.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, I don't hear God's voice talking to me. But the direction that I think that He wants me to take is something that I have to be aware of before I take it. Anyway, my time here at school is really telling me that maybe I'm not cut out for missions if I can't even really reach out to people here. I mean, it's not a problem to talk to people, but fear is overcoming me and I'm pretty sure that it will overcome me still if I don't deal with it now.
Things aren't so clear right now. But they will be...hopefully.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Home for a day
Man, how good it feels to sleep in my own bed. The bed I have at school is my own, but not as good as the one at home. It kind of makes me wonder if I do go to Japan what it would be like living there for 2 years.
Yeah, 2 years...I talked to my teacher today and he said that it is a 2 year commitment and available only when someone else leaves. Plus they might not be hiring anyway. Oh well, if I do go, at least I'll be at a church somewhere teaching kids English and learning Japanese too.
It will be a good experience, but I wonder if this is the right thing to do. Anyway, nothing is set in stone right now.
I still need to pray for the direction that God wants me to move.
Another thing pops into my mind, but part of me wonders if I'd be going for my personal benefit or if this is something that I could possibly do in the future. Whatever it is, it is something that I thought would be rewarding, but recently things have shown me that maybe this isn't the next step, but maybe a step further down the road. Anyway, I'm sure that nobody knows what I'm talking about right now, because I haven't told anyone about this...
Anyway, the next step must be centered around God and what He thinks is best for me. What choices I make today affect my life tomorrow.
Anyway, other events that happened was our postponed Christmas party. It was pretty cool. Lots of food, a White elephant gift exchange, and a Translation quiz of Christmas titles. Didn't get to play Star Wars Epic Duels as I'd hoped, but did come home with a full stomach. =)
Oh yeah, I highly recommend Star Wars Epic Duels to anyone. It is kind of like Chess with Star Wars Characters. A mix of a board game with character figures and cards. Check out Ebay for it as they do not sell it anymore. :( However, they do sell Transformers Armada, which is basically the same thing with Transformers Chracters and cards. You can buy that one at Toys R Us or any toy store.
Anyway, that's enough pollution for today. heh
Man, how good it feels to sleep in my own bed. The bed I have at school is my own, but not as good as the one at home. It kind of makes me wonder if I do go to Japan what it would be like living there for 2 years.
Yeah, 2 years...I talked to my teacher today and he said that it is a 2 year commitment and available only when someone else leaves. Plus they might not be hiring anyway. Oh well, if I do go, at least I'll be at a church somewhere teaching kids English and learning Japanese too.
It will be a good experience, but I wonder if this is the right thing to do. Anyway, nothing is set in stone right now.
I still need to pray for the direction that God wants me to move.
Another thing pops into my mind, but part of me wonders if I'd be going for my personal benefit or if this is something that I could possibly do in the future. Whatever it is, it is something that I thought would be rewarding, but recently things have shown me that maybe this isn't the next step, but maybe a step further down the road. Anyway, I'm sure that nobody knows what I'm talking about right now, because I haven't told anyone about this...
Anyway, the next step must be centered around God and what He thinks is best for me. What choices I make today affect my life tomorrow.
Anyway, other events that happened was our postponed Christmas party. It was pretty cool. Lots of food, a White elephant gift exchange, and a Translation quiz of Christmas titles. Didn't get to play Star Wars Epic Duels as I'd hoped, but did come home with a full stomach. =)
Oh yeah, I highly recommend Star Wars Epic Duels to anyone. It is kind of like Chess with Star Wars Characters. A mix of a board game with character figures and cards. Check out Ebay for it as they do not sell it anymore. :( However, they do sell Transformers Armada, which is basically the same thing with Transformers Chracters and cards. You can buy that one at Toys R Us or any toy store.
Anyway, that's enough pollution for today. heh
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