A wedding and a friend from out of town

Okay, so I posted a lot today...anyway, yesterday, August 22nd, I went to a friend's wedding. The 2nd wedding in 2 weeks and I really didn't want to go. For some reason, a part of me wants to stay home and relax on the weekend and not do anything with anyone, because I want my time to be my time. But when I do go to social events, I do find that I feel better and my next week is a lot better.

Anyway, I was feeling kind of antisocial and I didn't want to go, but I did go. I guess in new situations, especially with people I don't know, it is unknown and that bothers me. The new people don't bother me, don't get me wrong, it's the feelings that I get that bother me of not knowing.

I went and saw some familiar faces, saw a great wedding, saw two people that are really cool have the party of their lives, and got to dance a little bit (even though I'm terrible at dancing heh.) I had a great time there and I was glad that I went. Everyone was so happy and the bride and groom were honored among friends and family.

I forgot my camera, so I can't tell you what the place looked like, but it was a really nice place. The place looked like it was some place in Hawaii. Nice garden, the reception house had colorful paintings and stained wood. It was the perfect place for their wedding, because it fit their character.

We met this guy we met in college at AACF. He went to the neighboring college and visited AACF a few times and then I never saw him again until this wedding...well maybe once at a retreat center before that...Very nice guy and a very good guy. He is a chaplain at a hospital in California. Anyway, it's interesting to see where people have gone since college as one friend was saying. People have become full fledged adults and are working doing something as a profession.

I always respect those who go into the ministry, because they sacrifice a lot for other people and God. Sometimes some sacrifice their own life for others and God...it costs them something to help others and it makes a difference in other people's lives.

Anyway, it was a good wedding and it made me think about my own life a little bit more. When they were talking about the groom in the ceremony, they brought all these good points about him. I was thinking, "yeah, these are all true." But then I thought to myself, man, I'm lacking compared to him. I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but it was a wake up call that I'm getting older and I should be further along than I am now.

Someone said recently that "most guys don't take their seriously. You see all these women who do, and their husbands are just kind of tagging along." I have to kind of agree with him...as I was kind of bumming around (I'm not married though) and not really doing what I should be doing.

Anyway, just some thoughts that I've been thinking about. I keep on thinking about the reason why I was born. Why am I the way I am now? What purpose do I have here on earth? And I know that whether or not I get married, or whether or not I have a good job or am doing awesome things, it all doesn't matter in comparison to giving God honor. That's something that struck me about what the groom said to his girlfriend, now wife, was that, "God's glory first, us second."



*******

Bump forward a day and one of my friends from college is in town because of the wedding. We got together for dinner with a group of friends that we knew from AACF. It was a good time of fellowship and food. I'm always impressed with how much he's grown since college. I remember times when he would complain and I would listen to him because that's what friends do. But now, he's the one who tries to support others and serve God as much as he can. He went on a mission to South America recently and even though he doesn't know why God sent him down there, I'm sure that God has His purposes for calling people do things that we cannot understand now. I know that my friend knows this also. He was obdient to God's calling and obdience to God shows love for God. To obey is better than sacrifice.

Anyway, we went to Red Robin and then Starbucks afterwards. It was a lot of fun and I'm glad that I went.

The part in me that wants to stay home and do what I want to do is something that I battle everyday. "Sometimes, you have to do what you don't want to do." (a line from a cartoon I watched as a kid. Mighty Max.) Sometimes you have to force yourself to do what is good for you rather than sitting back and letting things happen.

But taking a line from today's sermon, I must prepare for when God tells me to do something. I must wait. But then again, I've been talking about things like this for a long time and no fruit has come out of it. Well, one day at a time. One day at a time. Like the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "I'm living the next 5 minutes, because these next 5 minutes may be all I have." I don't know why, but I don't think that I will live to a very old age for some reason. Not sure why, but maybe it's nothing and just paranoia taking over.

Another Sunday

I made it to service...late, but made it in time for the message. I owe it to being more disciplined with my sleep schedule. Anyway, what struck me from today's message was "waiting on God."

The message was called, "Those who Wait/Hope." Text Isaiah 40:28-31

So the whole point the pastor made was that people had given up hope and were exiled in Babylon at the time of this writing. They thought that God had forgotten them. But God in His perfect timing brought them back to Jerusalem.

His point was to wait on God. To wait for His timing and His purpose to be known. It seems like we wait a long time for God's will to be known.


Back to me, I was thinking about this today. I keep on thinking about will I ever get married? Will I ever find something that I want to do with my life? Will I go on a mission next year? I don't know. But first off, I need to pray about what God wants me to do with my life? Should I go to Brazil to do a mission? And if so, when? I think that it would be a good thing to do a mission, but if God doesn't want me there, then I have no reason to go.

Anyway, I've heard this message from the pastor several times before. To wait upon God. To be a person of "waiting" and not so much "doing" all the time, as he pointed out that we are a "doing" people. I'm feeling like I'm missing a point here. What am I waiting for? Does that mean I do nothing with my time? (I think I tend to get in that habit especially when I don't think about things.) No, it doesn't mean that I do nothing with my time. I think the waiting time is to prepare us for the time that things do happen.

I'm going nowhere with my life right now and I'm not very happy. But my small group has given me several suggestions and I'm not sure what I want to do as of yet. And if I do decide to do what I'm thinking of, will it turn into another pointless and unrewarding thing? Anyway, the job market is not good right now and I guess that has been a good thing for me because it shook me up. I was warned about coming tardy and I woke up. I woke up from my slumber. Who knows what the future will bring? I never thought that I'd get a job in Japan 3 years ago, but I did. Even though it was tough, I still remember some things today like they were yesterday. Some of the memories, I'm haunted by, but some were really good. I do feel like I've changed since then though.

Waiting upon God and His timing. It's so hard, because we want things now. But good things come to those who wait. And I know that God will do great things in this world. Will He do great things in my life? Yes, I think He's always working in everyone's lives.

Anyway, I'm far from where I need to be and I've spent the last two years living in limbo. I need to make up some ground. Well, maybe the best thing that happened to me this year was to be shook up. Whatever happens, I'm sure things will be alright. Heh, I wonder why people read my blog sometimes...I've been told that it is not that interesting. heh and maybe it is not interesting.

Video game article

I was looking for the article to post about how video gamers in their 30s are overweight, depressed, and unsuccessful as my friend showed me the article on MSNBC, however I couldn't find it and found this one instead.

This article apparently talks about how video games should be classified as a mental illness. Or should I say, video game addiction. One mother in the article talks about her son who was outgoing and academically successful until he started playing an online video game called, "World of Warcraft" and became reclusive, uncleanly, and belligerent. He even flunked 2 tenth grade classes because of the game. They tried to take the game away and he cursed them and threatened them with bodily harm. She said in the article, that when they tried to take the game away from him, he acted like he was posessed.

I can relate to the kid in some ways as being a world of warcraft player myself, I know how addicting that game can be and how life changing (in a bad way) it can affect people. All the things in the article that said, "he started avoiding friends, not taking showers, not sleeping, etc. all to play WoW" are true for some people who play wow, if not a lot of them.

However, I don't think that video games can be classified as a mental illness. In the most extreme case, they can be classified as a "vice."

There have been stories of people losing their jobs, friends, or even flunking out of school because of video games. But I'd say video games aren't the problem. It could be that the kid is having trouble getting along with other kids, or family problems, school problems...video games are not a mental illness, but they are a escape to treat a bad feeling or boredom. How many people do you know drink to be social or escape the world? Or just drink to have a good time? But as you know, they are vices which are causing problems to people.

Anyway, video games in itself is not a bad thing. It's just our tendencies to overplay them that we miss out on life that cause bad things to happen, and good thing to not happen in our lives. Like alcohol, if taken in moderation, it can be something fun. But it can't be the focus of our lives. And for some kids, it's something else to do, and for others, it's all they do.

I suggest that parents don't start their kids on online video gaming, because kids know no limits and games like World of Warcraft are really addictive. So addictive that in fact, they might lose sight of the real world and not build anything productive here. It is much better to have their friends come over and play a console game with your kid. That way you can put a limit on their playing time, and get them to do something else, like play baseketball or throw a baseball around.

One last note, World of Warcraft does have parental controls so parents can set when their kids can play and when they can't. It does not have a time limit on it, but it blocks out certain times of the day when they can and can't play. The parental controls may need an upgrade as it could allow parents to make a timer for how many hours a kid can play in a day in addition to the time blockouts. There could be a daily timer that would limit the amount of hours they could play in a day, in addition to a weekly timer which would limit their time for that week. Just a thought...I know I'm going to be hated by many people if Blizzard starts making this.

But what can you do, I say this, because I used to have a problem with World of warcraft and I was on the verge of getting fired from my job. I'm still in trouble, because of my tardiness to work from staying up too late playing World of Warcraft. I write these things, not because I'm against world of warcraft or video games, but rather to tell people that care for others who are addicited that video games can be a problem if a person does not know how to responsibly control them. If Blizzard does put in upgraded parental controls, props to them.

Once you stop playing video games, you need to fill it in with something productive, like reading or playing a musical instrument, studying, martial arts, exercising, etc. I guarantee that it will be tough and not fun at first, but the rewards from this hard work will pay off in ways that are worth more than the best gear and owning people in a video game. That is, if you stick to it and don't give up. It's easier to give up in life than to stick with something and try to be successful at it. But if you stick with it, you could be successful and it's not something that everyone can say that they have done. Note, everyone starts off at a novice level. People who have been doing something longer will be better than others who just started, so don't compare yourself to the veterans, just work at getting better and improving. The real world has better benefits and they feel much better too.

Note, I've been sober from WoW for 1 week now.

Okay, so someone leaked out that I have a different blog besides my Japan one, so one of my friends might be reading this also...oh well...guess if you tell someone something, you can't expect them to keep it a secret. Especially when you don't tell them to keep it a secret.

Anyway, June and Mike's wedding was yesterday. Traffic going north was pretty bad. I should have left earlier, but I wasn't thinking about getting my shirt ironed and tying a tie. But it was a good wedding. They both looked so happy and I'm happy for them.

Mike is a great dancer. It seemed like he never repeated a dance move for a different song. I was amazed at how many moves he has. I guess that it's all about feeling the music.

I couldn't find my camera, so I didn't take any pictures. But I like to use my memory more than pictures anyway. Even though pictures can be a nice reminder...

So I am trying to study Japanese more. I know that I tried this for a long time with no success. Especially with all the distractions around me. I just keep on getting reminded of Japan each time I study and I feel kind of like I failed each time I think about Japan. I kind of wonder what purpose I had there. Did I do any good there? Or was I just too focused on doing my job that I missed out on what God had in store for me. It was really tough as I don't really talk that much and make friends all that easily. But I do remember that it was a once in a lifetime experience which I will probably never have again, unless I do a mission. I feel like I just didn't do what I was supposed to do there. I didn't feel like I helped kids to learn English that well, and not making it to church myself, I was spiritually weak. I guess these are lessons that I need to carry over to here in the US.

Anyway, I need to focus on what I want to do with my life. I'm getting older and I can't keep on living with my parents forever. I'm tired of everyone trying to push me to go further in my life. Frankly they're only making me angry and making me not wanting to be with them. Especially family...but I know they mean well. It doesn't work that way with me though. If I want to do something, I'll do it. Not because someone tells me to do something. When my parents tell me to do this or that, I only feel like a little kid again...never able to do what I could on my own. Maybe I should move out. But where would I move out to? I guess I could always rent a studio. Anyway...my growth has come through steps that I took on my own most of the time. I never really listened to my parents, because they really don't know how to talk to me about things. I guess it's time to take responsibility for my own life. But we'll see where I go.