Today, one of the other guys I work with parked in a different spot, closer to the street. He was telling the other co-worker that on Friday someone broke into his car. Kind of crazy, because they could have easily broke into my car also, but didn't.

Anyway, I can see how a bunch of cars parked out in the middle of the night could cause some temptation to look inside of them. He wasn't the only guy that got his car broken into either. There must have been a group of people who were stealing stuff from the cars in the parking lot.

I wondered why they didn't steal anything from my friend's brand new car, but there's no locks on his car, so it's hard to break into. It's one of those cars where you have a mini door opener radio thing, or something like that, and it opens up the car.

Anyway, I'm just glad that I wasn't out there when they were stealing all that stuff. You never know what people are carrying when they're committing a crime.

I guess one lesson that I learned today was that you should never leave anything valuable in sight when you park. They didn't break into my car, because there was nothing of value in sight. I always hide my glasses and I put my cell phone in the glove compartment. I guess I'm lucky, because they could have broke into my car, taken my cell phone, and I'd have to pay to get my door fixed, like my other co-worker needs to do. $284...for a new lock.

I'm re-reading some of my blog entries, and really, they have no focus. haha. Oh well...I can see why people don't like talking to me from time to time. They're on one topic, and I jump from here to there, and then back again. I think it just annoys people.

Hmm...when I think about it, I've always been random. It has been only recently that I learned how to stay on one topic. But I don't practice that that much. Only in converstaion when I catch myself.

Hmm...I'm still having trouble focusing I guess. Strange...I used to be able to focus a lot easier when I was younger. I think that playing music helped a lot. I used to play piano.

When you're sitting there and you have to play one song over and over again to try to get it so that it is better than when you first started, I guess that can have an effect on the mind. Similar things that require focus...Sports, and...studying? Hmm...they're all good.

Yeah, maybe I should put away the video games for awhile. Or at least limit them...I probably won't though...heh

I'm wondering if I should get a new job, or stay at the job that I'm at right now. Someone commented to someone else that I make it seem like the job I'm at now is the worst job in the world. heh. I guess I can be cynical from time to time. But that's only because I'm really feeling tired everyday when I go to work. What can you expect if you work at night?

I was feeling like a slacker today. I feel like I just want to go back to sleep when it's time for work. But I went, and I did my work...slowly. Tired...yes. I guess that's what I get for playing video games all day yesterday. Yeah, video games...I love them so much. Maybe that will be problem later on. heh.

Video games, or improving your life...it reminds me of the article that my friends posted on my door. I was living with my first ever roommate. He played Everquest all day and all night. It was sad, because he did poorly in school, because he played that game so much. The article was about a woman married to this guy who played Everquest when he woke up, till he went to sleep. He didn't spend that much time with her. She even played online with him, in the same house on a different computer, but he still didn't as much attention to her as she would have liked.

One thing about online games is that they have a community. You'll probably never see some of the people, or even know what they look like, but you know their screen name, and you can have a conversation with them also. It's like playing a game and talking at the same time.

Back to the article...she got fed up. She gave him an ultimatum. Which one will you choose? Everquest...or me? He chose Everquest. So they got divorced.

Sad things like that that ruin people's lives. My roommate said that Everquest wasn't even a good game. It sucked, but he spent so much time in there, that he just couldn't stop. "I'm going to sell my character," he would say...but I don't know if he ever did. He played the game until we parted ways, and I don't know if he playes Everquest 2 now. But, he has so much potential, yet he just threw away part of what could have been a great job in the future. His school paid for his time in video games and he gave up on going into medicine, even though he is really smart and a good guy.

Anyway, makes me wonder what I really want in my life. I wanted to go into video games as a job. But I didn't like programming...which is one thing that someone who creates video games should know. Making models, whether code, or animation is what many people are looking for...or so I read on the MSN article archive. Video games...tough business. I think that I'll pass. Maybe writing would be better...hehe

Really, I'm not sure where I'm going in this life. But I think that I need to keep moving forward...to keep improving.

I'm wondering if I'll ever get things right in my life. But if I keep trying to make things right and analyze why something went wrong and correct it, or ask the person why something went wrong and learn from it, I'm sure that thing will turn out okay. Even if they don't turn out the way I want them to.

There will always be hardships. There will always be troubles. But the thing is, you've got to see what you have right now, because if you're not satisfied right now with your life, then you'll have a harder time later. Things will never be enough.

I'm not saying don't work for better things. What I'm saying is, be happy right now with what you have. Things could be worse. But they'll never get better unless you make them better. I'm not saying to force things, but what I'm saying is, with time and the right efforts, things can get better. Not saying that they will. But they can.

10 years ago, I thought that I would never experience any good in life. It was pretty horrible for me. I didn't have many friends, and I thought that everyone hated me. But, things got better with hard work and learning to care for people.

That's just me. It will probably be different for others. Anyway, what I'm saying is, you won't get anywhere, unless you walk toward that goal. It may not be as you expect it. But, good things do come from time to time, if you're ready.

I guess this was more for me than anyone else. Right now, I'm wondering where I am heading in life. I guess I need to be happy with what I have right now.

Sometimes things aren't always as you see them. Sometimes, there is something else behind what you think is happening. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. We don't know everything, and sometimes we need to ask others why they did something. Sometimes we need to tell others that we were hurt by them. But we need to do that in a way that is not condescending and not attacking them, but true and honest to how we feel with respect for the other person.

Anyway, just things going through my head. People tend to let things bother them, and stay under their skin until they die. Sometimes there's no closure, because we don't talk things out. Sometimes we don't know how to say things in the right manner. But, I do believe that things can be healed if we take the steps.

Anyway, I know in my own life that I still have some skeletons in my closet. Talking things out with others that I had problems with helped out. Sometimes, when I did talk to some certain people about my problems with them, they couldn't take it, and they thought it was an attack against them. I guess I could use some work on how I say things to other too.

But, I know that some things are out of my system now and I have closure. I'm just glad that I went through the pain and uncertainty to express how I felt.

Some things are in my heart right now, but right now, I don't feel ready to share them. Maybe now is not a good time...plus I wouldn't share them on a blog either...

Staying at home

I decided not to help out at a camp that I helped out at last year. It was a great experience, and I wanted to go back, but I really felt that I was not in the best spiritual health to serve. I can attribute that to my laziness in doing devotions. Plus, I felt that God didn't want me to serve even though I wanted to.

I served last year, because I felt that I should take a step of faith and try to do something to serve others. I still have flaws and I remember one incident where I told a kid to be quiet...it kind of reminded me of when my brother would tell me to shut up. Anyway, the other kids couldn't work because of all the noise, so I told him that he needed to be quiet. I hope that I didn't scar him in any way. Because I know that I became a quiet kid because of all the people telling me to be quiet. ugh...

Well, my friends are helping out at a camp now, and I'm thinking...I could have helped out...but right now, I don't feel like I want to serve when I myself am struggling.

In other news, my nephew is visiting us with my sister and brother in law. My nephew seems like he's going to be a great guy when he grows up. But, for my sister and brother in law, it seems like they're really tired. I wonder if I'll ever had kids someday. I wonder if I'll be as good of a parent as they both are.

Work...

People are quitting this job. For some reason, there's always someone ill. heh. Anyway, it's not necessarily the best place to work at, but it's a job, and it's decent work. I'm wondering when I'll leave. I'm kind of tired of waking up at odd hours, but I know that this job is better than not having a job.

I hope to go to Japan soon...maybe next year. I'm going to apply to different programs...I think that I need to pray about direction. Japan...it is such a great place, but it has problems like everywhere else.

No place is perfect, regardless of the good things about it. I guess that's one reason why we say that we live in a fallen world. Actually, we say that we live in a fallen world because of another reason, but I won't get into that. But yeah, the evidence is clear, we do live in a fallen world. Bad things can happen to anyone.

Right now, I'm not sure why I decided to go to Japan, but I really think that I need to experience some growth in my life and to learn how to adapt to a new culture. Japan helped me in so many ways before. It's kind of strange how things fit together...but I know that it's because my brother and others were praying for me. Because of good choices that I made, things worked out a lot better. Really, what you choose to do will make a difference in your life. Even though it may not be apparent at the time.

Now that I'm further along the road, I see the mistakes and good choices that I made. I would definitely change some things that I did in the past. I guess, there's no changing the past, but only changing right now.

I really wonder where I'll be next year...but I know that I have choices to make with my life day to day, minute by minute.

I guess I'm thankful that I'm still alive. If I were dead, then I couldn't do anything anymore.

New sleeping schedule

I'm trying out a new sleeping schedule because I'm finding that I'm not doing so well on the weekends when I switch from a 5pm-2am sleeping schedule to a 10am-6pm sleep, and then back to the former on Sunday.

Anyway, we'll see how things go from now on. I woke up about an hour ago and I feel kind of tired, but no more tired than I used to feel when I would come back from work.

Anyway, I'm sure that I'll feel much better not having to switch my sleeping schedule every 5 days. The only hard part comes when church is going. That's when I should be sleeping. I guess in the end, it matters more to go to church than it does to maintain a consistent sleeping schedule, but I'm thinking...maybe I need a new job.

No sense complaining. I'm lucky to even have a job that will help me out. Who knows where I'll be later on because of this job. Hopefully, it will help me to get a better job and not something else that I won't like. But I'm thinking that it will help me to get a better job.

Really, I'm tired right now. I usually go to sleep at this time...maybe I'll go to sleep...

Sometimes I don't know why I'm here. But that's the thing...I'll never know...

I've gone through a lot in life. Most of it has been inside my own world. I know that I haven't actually gotten past all of my past, but I know that I did receive help, and I was helped to help myself. I am feeling like I can stand on my own two legs now...just barely. I think that I need to exercise them more and to get stronger.

I don't know why I'm here...but life is more enjoyable when I see others experience good things. I wonder where I'll be.

I remember those "create your own story" books, where you'd have a choice of what to do in a situation and then turn to the page where you'll see the result. Kind of like a video game in a sense, however, I didn't like how I never got too far in those books. heh. I kind of thought that they were stupid. But I guess the reason why I thought that was that you didn't have that much control over the result. In a video game, you have lots of control. It's like you're a god. But you do restrictions.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm writing this. It's Friday, and I'm thinking...I need to make my life better somehow. I guess growth never comes overnight, but over many days and years...Giants...I wonder...

Okay...I like to ponder things...

I'm finding that I shouldn't be spending so much money when I'm not living on my own. Really, if I want to get my plans done, then I should save my money and stop trying to buy everything that I want.

I was going to buy a lot of anime, when I realized that I have a lot of video games that I haven't played yet. I also thought that it's not right for me to buy all these things when I'm living with my parents. Really, they're doing me a favor by letting me stay with them. I could be struggling to pay the rent in an apartment and struggling to find food to eat, but they have graciously provided all this for me.

Even if I do get a little angry at them from time to time, I know that I'm supposed to honor them. Honor your father and mother. I know that my parents don't intend to make me angry. They love me. I'm really lucky that they do. They could have thrown me out a long time ago, but they still tolerate me. heh.

One thing that's been going on is that I'm seeing that I need to learn how to be responsible with my life. I can't be doing what's fun all the time, because I really need to plan ahead for my future. But, I can't always be doing stuff for my future either. If there's no social activity, then there's no life.

Anyway, I don't know what to say, but I really need to make something out of my life and make my life worth the efforts that many people have put into it. No man is an island. We all have been helped at one point or another. Maybe in school by the teachers, or parents, or brothers, or sisters, or friends, or relatives. I really want to do something worth while with my life.

I'm finding that at work, things are getting better. I think that the problems that I've been facing were not really that big, and they've become less than what they used to be. The work enviroment is getting more friendlier, and I'm learning how to not take things so personally. Really, people don't really know me all that well. And, I don't know them all that well. I guess I could make some more efforts, but I think that it also takes time and a good attitude.

Really, I am thankful that things are working out better. God is good.

Sometimes it's not like that...

I've been thinking that sometimes things aren't always as they seem. Sometimes when you think one thing, it's really not that at all. Sometimes when you think someone has something against you, they don't. I've been thinking that things have been getting better in my life, because I've come to see that really, people don't have things against me. And if they do, I shouldn't worry about it, because they haven't told me. Just got to do what I know is right.

A lot of talk, but no action

I'm thinking that I need to do more action in my life instead of write about it. heh. Anyway, I see that I might be heading in a different direction sooner or later. As long as I focus on what I need to do, I'll be prepared for the day when it comes...correction...IF it comes.

The day when my dream becomes a reality will never happen unless I make it happen. I'm not talking about going out there and forcing things to happen. That's not what I mean...I mean, sometimes you get a chance in life to do something great. However, if you're not prepared to do it, then someone else will take the place that you could have been in. You might not even be considered if you don't have what it takes when the day comes.

Anyway, I have a long way to go in many areas of my life. And I have a lot of work to do. Excuse me while I stop wasting time today and focus for what little time I have left. Man, I really need to make better habits of getting things done. Also, relating to people...

After another day of work, I'm thinking that I could do some things better. Oh well...participate in life, don't watch it go by. Most of the time, I'm just watching. There are times to watch, and times to participate. Sometimes it's better if you leave too. Yeah, butting into someone else's work or conversation can be bad...but it's not always...

The one person that I can always rely on has been God. He may not give me what I want, but He at least brings some clarity where there is confusion. And trust me, I really don’t understand relationships all that well. But, I’m still learning.

Anyway, one life to live. One life to give.

Makes me wonder where I’d be after college if I didn’t go to AACF. Well…nothing to do but to pick myself up and try again. Sometimes a game plan will work, and sometimes it won’t. But it’s always good to look back and see what we’ve done wrong and try to do it differently when it comes back again.

Makes me wonder…where am I headed to? Where will I be in 1 year?

Translating...

I finished with my translating for the Nintendo DS game. I don't know which game it is, but all I can say is that some parts of the text were kind of weird.

Comparing my translation with the feedback given by the guy who's checking everything, my translation was more literal and didn't fit into American culture as well. I didn't take into account that people just don't understand some cultural things and I focused on what I thought was important instead of what sounded better.

From the classes that I took, my teacher wanted us to get things literal, but at least sounding like they flow. In this game, however, it was more important to get things as close as possible, but to make it fit with how a person would regularly talk in English.

It was a good experience though. I learned that you need to adjust how you write for the audience that you're talking to, in this case, English speakers who probably have no idea how Japanese is spoken. Anyway, I think that I did an okay job. I messed up on a lot of the last text that I did. With more experience, I'm sure that I'll become better. I guess the only thing to do now, is to keep working on my skiils. I don't think that this guy will work with me again though. Oh well...this was my second translating job. The first was volunteer work. I guess I've got to do this on my own for a long long time...

I've been thinking...

that really I shouldn't post such personal info on my blog. Can a person actually build a relationship with someone else on a blog? I don't think so. Can people keep in touch through a blog? I really don't think that that does anything other than inform others about what's going on. Can you change other people through your thoughts? Maybe...but really, sometimes the people who write on blogs are just blogging their emotions or thoughts and not facts. It may not create a positive outcome.

With that going through my mind, I've decided not to post so often about my own life. This blog is going to get less love from me. Why write stuff that anybody can read? Why let other people see who I am when people probably just don't care. I'd rather be a nameless person instead of a person whom people think that they know.

I do not think that this blog has done anybody any good. It may have entertained people with the events of my life, or entertained people with the stupid things that I say or do, but really, I don't believe that this blog is doing anybody any good. Especially me.

With the time that I could have spent doing other things to improve my life, I have blogged and spent a good amount of hours that I could have spent elsewhere. One movie that comes to mind is "American History X".

Edward Furlong played a racist character from what he learned from his brother played my Edward Norton. Edward Norton changed from being racist to being against the racism that he promoted at one time. Anyway, the quote, "What have you done to make your life better?" From the principal to Edward Norton, really makes me think, why am I blogging at all?

I have complained, I have expressed my anger, I have even tried to show what I believe to no avail in making my life better. Writing it down is one thing, but actually doing something to grow is another.

With that said, no more personal stuff about me in this blog. I don't think that this blog has helped me to grow, and I know that growth comes in the real world, not in cyberspace.

Anyway, my life is now private.