Money cards...

Something interesting that I read today was about 7-11. In Japan, the people don't use banks and checks that often. If the bank fails, the Japanese government will not reimburse the customers like they do in the US. They don't have the same insurance. So, people use convenience stores to pay credit card bills and the like. (They pay the bills at the counter in the store with cash...or so I've been told.)

7-11 is planning to come out with a money card. It should have an IC chip in it (IC = Integrated circuit). So, you could deposit money on the card at a 7-11 store or a 7-11 atm. I'm not sure if they're going to allow it to be used at other places in Japan, but I think that they probably will. I'm not sure what the integrated circuit does in the card...

It should come out in 2007.

I still fail to see how it differs from a gift card or debit card though. I guess this is just a way to deposit money into a card without having to have a bank account. I think that since the people of Japan are not trusting of banks, that this will take off. However the article did say something about a 7-11 bank, I'm not sure if I translated that correctly...but yeah, I still don't know if Japan has a debit system yet...they didn't awhile ago, but they might now.

One of the reasons why 7-11 is coming out with a money card is that they want to cut back on small change. It probably takes up a lot of time to give change back. If you don't know, Japan's smallest paper bill is 1000 yen equivalent to $10 US. Which means all the yen up to 500 yen are coins. Anyway, I don't know if Japan has any coinstars or anything like that, but hopefully they do.

Hopefully Japan will have a universal card where they can use it for more than one store. Anyway, if you can read Japanese, the article is here

The newspaper is the Asahi Newspaper, so they have an English version too, but I'm not sure if they translated it yet. And yes, if you can read Japanese, I'm probably missing something else. I tend to get things close, but not right on. I guess that's a reason why I need to read this more and try to translate it.

I must say that I think that things went well today. I think that I still have some more growing to do. But I think that I made some good baby steps. Must take some more for the rest of the week.

I see that I have a lot of growing up to do. Why is it that I always seem to hurt the ones that I care about most and want to care about most? Why is it that I distance myself from others? Why is it that I'm just not where I want to be?

I know that answer...the answer is that it takes work, risk, and initiative. I think that anyone is capable of living a full life. Those three aren't the only things that matter in life. Really, you've got to have a heart too. And I do have a heart, but I feel that it could be better.

All the things that are going on in my life are really nothing compared to what others are going through and what others face in this world. It makes me wonder what I'm doing with my life. Am I really making things happen? Or am I letting them slip by?

One thing that I tell myself is that things could be worse. But then again, things could be better if I went in the right direction. Better how? I think that I'd be more mature. I guess things that are worth something don't come overnight. They take time, growth, effort, and care. Really growth doesn't come in one day, but over a long period. It may not be what we expect it to be, but it depends on us and God. I guess I should get going and not worry about tomorrow.

I am reminded daily that I need to be spending time with God. Lean on Him and trust in Him. Seek His kingdom first. In my good times, I forget God. In my bad times, I trust in Him. I'm seeing that I need to remember Him and trust in Him always in both good and bad. Things can be turned upside down in a moment and it's really unfair for God to be sought only when things are bad. What is that saying about this relationship?

Okay...I've lamented my worries. I guess it's no use worrying about them. No use for anybody. Just work on it and get it done. Yeah, always chip away at your work. It may not come easy, but nothing starts out easy. Everyone starts out with little or no skill. Other skills may be used for similar things which can give a person a boost in something else, but really, I should not be dismayed that I'm not good at this right now. I guess I'm retarded when it comes to relationships.

Like a muscle, it takes consistency in exercising over time to grow strong. That's true for a lot of things and a lot of people. I guess I shouldn't beat myself up, but really stop complaing and work on it. Okay...

Friday...madness

Well, I did what I said I wouldn't...I worked this past day. I was expecting a lot of work that day, but luckily we only did the urgent stuff. I'm glad that I did come in, because it was a pretty easy day compared to the rest of the regular days. I just wanted to experience what it would be like working on a day like this where there aren't too many people.

We got scones during break. They were from Starbucks and not too bad, but I wouldn't pay for them. My supervisor said that when he went in at 5 in the morning it was packed and there was a line to get to the counter. Starbucks opened at 4 today for the holiday rush. One guy at my workplace was eating a pumpkin scone which he said was one of the hottest items there. "You have to get there 20 minutes before they open to even get a chance of buying one of these."

I was going to check out some of the stores after work, but it was packed, so I just didn't bother to drive there. Seeing some of the video footage on the news, I'm glad that I worked instead of going shopping. Some people can be pretty crazy when it comes to things that they want. Especially when it's cheap.

Anyway, got home relatively early and didn't do too much. I slept for most of the evening until now and it'll be a busy day tomorrow.

I kind of think back to college when one of my friends was talking about the Simpsons. The scene had bart playing with a remote control car and he drove it past some presents and ran over a figurine of Jesus. My friend said that he thought that the Simpsons were anti-Christian because of that. But really, when I thought about it recently, Jesus is kind of taken out of the picture during Christmas in America and other places. The focus becomes more on the presents instead of what Christmas is all about...Christ being born into this world. So in a sense, what Bart did is not uncommon of what we do here.

I think that the earlier Simpsons episodes are great, because they are a Satire of America. I guess I could see why people don't like the Simpsons, but when you think about it, what the Simpsons do is what people do in this country. As Tony Campolo put it in the forward for the book "The Gospel According to the Simpsons" that the Simpsons are not Anti-Christian. They are very much Christian, but in the American sense. (I think that's the general idea...) Anyway, Tony Campolo didn't write the book, he just put a forward in the book.

Anyway, the later Simpsons episodes are just getting bad in my opinion. They don't seem like they have any point to them anymore.

Anyway, got to sleep.

I keep on thinking that people don't like me. I don't think that that's true, but I tend to think that from time to time, even though I know better.

I have to counter it by telling myself that that could be true, but I really don't know if it is. I tell myself that it's probably that they just don't know me and it is true that I don't know them, so I shouldn't worry about things like this.

Anyway, yesterday was a tough day, as I felt like things weren't going my way. But I got through it, and I was reminded that God loves each one of us. That's pretty amazing, because I keep on wondering how he could love someone like me; Someone who isn't great and makes a lot of mistakes and can't seem to get things right. I'm reminded of God through the tough times, because His greatness is shown when we're weakest. Really, everything we have is from Him, and without God, we are nothing. He keeps the universe together, He makes things work, and He made all the laws of the universe that we can't escape. It kind of awes me that Someone who is so great could love a people who are not very good at all. Me included.

Anyway, I probably should not write my thoughts about God online.

Thanksgiving...

Really, there's a lot to be thankful for. I'm most thankful that I have relationship with my Lord and Savior. None can compare to Him. I guess I shouldn't worry about the things of this world, because they will all fade away. The only things that will pass on will be God, people, and Jesus' words. I'm glad that someone told me about Jesus and that they helped me to understand.

Church yesterday...

I'm glad that I went. I was totally blessed to go. I had some good conversations, but one thing in the back of my mind is that I need to take more chances in getting something out of my mouth. The career fellowship leader was trying to talk to me, and I didn't know what to talk about, so I said nothing. Yeah, not a very good way to keep a conversation going, but yeah, sometimes I really don't know what to say. Maybe I should break out of the mold that I have been placed in. I'm not a kid anymore and I need to become an adult in mind and spirit. I can't take it easy anymore, otherwise I'll fall too far behind and maybe never grow up. heh

Back to church...the message was about what we place our foundation on. Work? Or Jesus? It can be found in verses Matthew 6:25-34. One thing that I remember from the speaker was that things can turn upside down in a moment. He told of how he was a rising star in an agency, and a week later, he caused a major foul up. He felt like he failed miserably and he felt sorry that his wife was married to him. (Maybe not too extreme, but yeah, he felt really bad.) He told of something that he thought of one day. He said that he can't explain it, but he saw a vision in Jerusalem 2000 years ago. A crowd jeering a man who had failed their expectations. He was carrying his cross up a path. Only that man wasn't Jesus, it was him, the speaker. He said that he felt like God was telling him that God knows what it's like to be in that situation. Jesus came down to earth and experienced what it is like to be human. And if the speaker couldn't trust in Jesus' love to get him through things, then what could he trust in?

I must mention here that he didn't mean to trust that Jesus would do his work for him, because obviously you have to do your own work, but he was saying that a job doesn't make your worth. All the things that the world tells you about "spending your money, because you earned it," is not exactly true for people of faith. The speaker said that really, the things that we earn are gifts from God.

Anyway, how I related that to me was that I am really getting obsessed with how much I make. I'm not making that much. I work an hourly job and get paid very little. That's why I'm worrying about money so much. But, I shouldn't worry about where I'm going to go in the future. Not saying that I shouldn't plan, but really, if I work hard and things work out, then that's good. But really, I need to find direction from God. I keep saying that I could lose my job at any time. That's true, even though I'm doing alright in my job, if the company decides to lay off workers, then I'm one of the people with the lowest seniority and would get fired towards the beginning. Anyway, I keep on wondering if I'm living my life in a way that is worthless. Maybe I'm too hard on myself, but I fail to see how I'm doing any good on this planet. Maybe I should spend more time with God...I'm not sure if I'm ready to ask where I should be though...

I guess I shoudn't worry about the future. But, I must do what I need to do to grow. I keep on wondering where I'll be in 10 years. I guess that depends on God and me.

I'm glad it's the weekend. I'm feeling like I don't know where I'm going in life.

Today, my coworkers were encouraging to me. I guess they don't hate me after all. I don't know why, but everyone was in a good mood today. Maybe it's that the Thanksgiving weekend is coming and we're all happy that we get an extra two days off. But yeah, they were great.

I'm kind of wondering if I will go to someplace on Friday at 3am and wait in line for 6 hours. Hmm...I'm not so sure about that. But yeah, it wouldn't be too much different from working at my workplace, which is in the general area. But yeah, maybe I shouldn't because I need to save money...

I'm looking forward to next week as I will only have 3 days of work! They said that we will have an opportunity to work on Friday and receive holiday pay in addition to our hours. I'm not sure if I want to do that, but I think that it might be a good thing to get some more money, even though I would miss out on standing in line for great deals. I figure that I have enough junk to hold myself for awhile so I probably won't stand in line. And I'm not sure if missing a holiday and a full night's sleep is worth an extra 27 dollars. So maybe I'll NOT go to work on Friday.

With this lack of money in my bank account, I seem to have been obsessed with how much I'm spending each day. If I had a well paying job, then I'd probably use my money less wisely on bigger and better stuff. But I've been not buying stuff that I thought was a good deal. Unless I really wanted it.

Man, what's up with buying stuff? Why do I keep on buying stuff that I don't use? I think that for me, it feels good to buy something. I now have something to add to my collection. I look for good deals, but it seems like I'll never have enough time to use all of this junk. Maybe I should sell this stuff...

I'm wondering if the wealth of stuff that I have that takes my time away from God is actually why I'm spiritually poor. I mean, why is it that the most important things in my life are put on the tail end. Maybe I've got my priorities upside down and I need to get a new perspective. Well, I could write about this all I want, but when it comes down to it, what you spend your time on and what you spend your money on are the most important things in your life. I guess I've got to stop blogging for today and get going.

Seek God's kingdom first...hmm...

Man, did I say that?

Yeah, I guess I have trouble focusing. Anyway, I think that I tend to sound like an idiot posting on this blog and granted I just write off the top of my head and don't spend too much time here. I go off on a lot of tangents and don't finish what I was saying. Bad habits from spending a lot of time in isolation I guess. I guess that's one reason why people don't like to talk to me. The other is that I'm not very good at talking either. Oh well...I guess there's nothing to do but improve. That, or just let my skills turn into dust. Which I'm not going to do.

Work...

I must say that it's getting busier, but we've been working faster. I don't know what the new manager is doing, but we're getting done earlier. I'm thinking that I need to find a new job though. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing in the next few months of work. We'll see though.

Work overall is not bad. But it's still a good place to work, even though I wouldn't recommend it to that many people. Kind of dangerous...

I think as the weather gets colder, people tend to want to get out of there faster. They use heat, but it goes out of the warehouse fast when the doors open. Plus it's hard to heat up a warehouse anyway.

Anyway, enough blogging...got to study.

Topic from "Lost"

I saw my first episode of Lost today. I watched it in my community group today and we talked about how we could relate to some of what the characters went through.

The episode was about one character who was told that he couldn't do something. He would say, "Don't tell me what I can't do." He thought that it was his destiny to go on this trip in Australia, but circumstances dictated that he couldn't do this trip. It was kind of sad what his life was like and the things that he wanted to do, but couldn't. What was worse was that people were telling him that he couldn't do those things (and granted, he couldn't), but he still had dreams.

I guess how I could relate to that is that people haven't directly told me that I couldn't do something. It is that I thought that they thought that I couldn't do something. And in a sense, I believed what I was thinking...that I couldn't do it. I don't know what others thought, because nobody told me.

Anyway, I don't know what my point is, but with the things going on in my life at work, I'm thinking that I really need to get back to God and look where He's leading me. Something that I'm not sure I want to ask.

As of right now, I'm not sure what is in store for my life, but I think, "if I'm not following God...then how will I experience anything that God has in store for me." I don't know where God is leading me and I think that that's a problem.

Dreams...it's good to dream, but it won't happen unless you try to make it happen. Some of us never fulfill our purpose in life. Some of us never reach where we're supposed to be. We all have a purpose, but when you look around at this world and at yourself, are you making it happen?

I look and I see that I have a lot of things to do. I guess I've got to stop blogging and make it happen.

One more thing. I'm not saying to give up, but really, sometimes you need to know your own limits. Sometimes reality can bite you if you're not careful and you go out there recklessly.

School days long gone...

My friend interviewed me today for a school project of his. The interview is supposed to be with a person who didn't have a typical school experience. I must say that going to school was pretty tough once I reached Jr. High school, and parts of high school were not that easy either. But I'm glad that I turned out alright.

There were so many factors as to why I didn't go crazy and do something bad, but yeah, I'm just glad that I didn't do anything that I would regret later on.

Where to start...Jr. High. It was tough going to Jr. High school. I didn't know a lot of the people, and I started to withdraw from others. I had some friends, but it was the name calling that really brought me down. I must say that it wasn't an easy time for me. But then again, what Jr. High school or Middle school experience is easy? I probably had a tougher time than most students, but when you look at it, it's tough for everyone, because we're all going through changes during those times. I guess one thing that stays with me is that I realized that those days are long gone, and I'm glad that they're over.

One of my teachers during that time, Mr. Butterfield was a great encouragement to me. He had a great sense of humor. He told stories about students saying, "Hey butterboy!" One thing that I'll remember is that he cared whether his students learned or not. He actually asked me if I understood the material in front of the whole class. For some people, that might be traumatizing, but he didn't do that to hurt me, but because he wanted to explain how the do the problem if I didn't understand it. He didn't do that only for me, but for others who were shy and didn't raise their hands that often. He did it in such a way that he was not putting down the students, but really working with them. I also remember that he would stay after school and let us retake tests if we didn't score well in them the first time. Granted, you can't do that in high school, but yeah, he was a great teacher and I'll always remember him.

I really dreaded going to school in Jr. High. I could imagine my experience being worse if I went to Jr. High in Japan. I wasn't the easiest person to get along with and I was outright rude at times. But I'm just lucky that I didn't experience anything worse happening in my life. I could have gotten beaten up if I acted upon my anger.

School wasn't easy as it used to be. I had a hard time focusing on something. I would have to use a lot of effort to concentrate on doing something or getting something done. But then again, that's a lot of people out there.

Anyway, this is probably not so interesting to a majority of the readers out there, but hey what can I say, this is a journal of parts of my life. Sometimes some people's lives aren't that interesting, but they are experiences unique to each person.

Anyway, yeah, I have both good and bad memories of school, but I like to think that I did okay. Now that I'm out of school, I miss college, but not high school or Jr. High. Elementary was good, but when we reached the end, everything seemed like it was kind of changing at that time too.

Anyway...

Work today...

There was some yelling going on upstairs. Two women were telling each other to shut up and it caught our attention downstairs. I think that my workplace has a tendency to cause people to get a little tense. We're always being pushed to go faster in our work everyday. If we don't go fast, then our supervisors get yelled at and they encourage us to work fast, so they don't get yelled at. But yeah, I'm not sure if this is a good company to work for. Granted all companies are trying to make a profit, but I keep on hearing stories about this place and it makes me wonder if I should find a new job soon.

It's not so bad now, but I could imagine it getting a lot worse than it is now. I'm lucky to be in the place that I'm in now, because some other places have it worse.

I guess I could be fired anytime soon, so I should count myself lucky to have a job right now.

Habits

There's one friend of mine that I keep on getting frustrated with. Maybe it's that he doesn't listen to what I have to say, or maybe I'm just not conveying it in a manner worthy to be listened to, but I'm finding that I'm probably not the best person to go to for advice, because I haven't been able to say things in a calm manner or help others understand what I'm trying to tell them. I end up telling them what I think, and they think differently, so we're just not making any progress. I wonder if I'm making bad choices with my own life looking at my friend.

He doesn't have a job right now and I have job, but I don't make that much money. He goes out with us every week for lunch, and he's spending money that he's receiving from others when he's not able to support himself. I am also doing the same thing. I am living with my parents, and my job doesn't pay that much. When I buy stuff for myself like video games (things I don't need), I am in a sense spending money that I should be saving so that I could become independent and make a life for myself. I'm at the age where I should be living on my own and earning a good income. However, with my use of money on myself, I've dishonored my parents.

you might ask why. Well, to put it this way, my parents are supporting me until I can support myself. Yet I'm not making any progress in doing that. I'm eating their food, using their electricity, using their water while I'm not paying anything for that. If they were to kick me out right now, I could not support myself with this job. Which is why I've got to be more responsible with my money and not spend it on myself and save it up.

My friend doesn't see that he's being irresponsible with his money by spending it on going out to eat with us when he could buy food at the store at a cheaper price. He also doesn't see that his family isn't going to support him forever. He doesn't listen to me and I don't know how to tell him in a way that he could understand that he needs to find a job and support himself. I guess I've learned something from him. I just hope that he could learn something from me. But, I've had no success in my time that I've known him.

I must say that I don't know all the choices that he makes daily, but I can imagine that he's probably not using it all on things he needs. Just like me. I see what I need to do now, and I need to stick to it. Yep, gotta stop buying stuff...

Well, I will say one thing, my friend is making some progress, but he really needs to get into better shape, or else he's going to find himself on the street.

[Edit] I guess I could find myself on the street soon if I don't shape up either.

It's sad when someone dies. You can't see them anymore or tell them how much you love them. The service is the goodbye to their earthly body that once contained a spirit inside of it. Nobody knows what happens after death, but those who have faith in Jesus believe that those who died in Christ will be with our Lord, who is good and loving and kind.

I don't know what I'd do if someone in my life died, but I can sympathize for those who have lost someone recently. But even that is pretty weak compared to what they have to go through.

I don't know what to say. I only know that nothing is permanent in this world, except our soul. Everything that you buy in this world, own or whatever will go back to the earth. Nothing will stay here, everything will turn back into what it was before...dust and dirt. Including us.

Nothing I can do but pray...

I can't say how much I'm saddened. What can I do but pray? I really don't know what to do...I guess I have to just trust in the Lord.

All church retreat

I went to my church retreat this past weekend. I must say that I didn't know why I was going. I only went because I had nothing better to do. As of lately, I've come to expect nothing from anyone or anything. I guess I've felt like I'm alone in this world and that how could God love someone like me? Someone who doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere or to anything.

Going to the retreat helped me to see that I need to do what I previously did before. Focus on Jesus by praying, spending time in the Word, and not just spending time in the word but actually digging and chewing on the content so that I will understand the spiritual applications. The speaker challenged us to get off our butts and do something to help others come to know Jesus.

He started off with other religions; how they have to train to become a follower. But when it comes down to Christianity, we get saved and we tend to end there. He said that being saved is not the end, but the beginning. And that you cannot grow in Christ, unless you are saved. He mentioned that Christians are some of the laziest people spiritually and that many of us never fulfill our purpose in life.

One thing that one of my friends took away from the speaker was this quote, "People are going to Hell because you won't open your mouth." What the speaker was talking about at that point was that we are called to tell others about Jesus regardless of what this world says we can do. We're afraid to tell others, because it's not accepted and not allowed to be told in many places. He said that we don't have time to think whether or not God wants us to do something, because there is not very much time. Nobody knows when Jesus is coming back, but if he comes back tomorrow, the speaker said that he wants as many people to come to know Jesus as possible before then.

He said a lot of hard things to hear, but it was definitely Spirit led.

The speaker talked about a lot of things in the retreat, but his main point was that "growth requires our willingness." G.R.O.W. And that we are to grow in every aspect of our spiritual lives.

The physical is often used to describe the spiritual. And many other things like that.

Anyway, it was a good retreat, but I realized there that I have a lot of work to do in my own life. I have not grown these past 4 years. I've felt like I've atrophied in my spiritual life. Really, if I am here for something, then I need to stop my laziness, get into the word, pray, and go out and do ministry in my workplace and other places. I'm not saying that I'm going to preach to people, because right now, I don't have any friendships with my co-workers. Plus I don't know them too well. But yeah, I really need to get on it and live a life worth living. There isn't much time in anybody's life. We're here one day, and then we're gone another. We only have so much time and everyday should be a day to live for.

One thing that I'll remember from the speaker is that adversity brings about growth. It's not a time to ask if God is real, because those who are believers have seen the evidence in their own personal lives. But it's a time to turn to him and realize that we're not alone in this. Somewhere someone has experienced that same thing.

I have a sense of what I should do, and I must prepare. Growth...

I must prepare...

I woke up late today to go to work. I made it on time, but I didn't eat breakfast so my day was horrible. I think that people could sense it too, because people kind of stayed their distance from me, but then again, I probably would too if someone else was having a bad day.

I kept on thinking...why am I working here? My answer was always that I need a job and this will fill in for now. It was also a wake up call, because today was pretty cold in the warehouse and I could find a better job if I worked on my Japanese. I plan to work on that today, because I don't want to be in this warehouse forever.

I was thinking a lot today about what other people thought about me. I know that it doesn't matter what other people think, but it is kind of depressing that people think things about me. I take comfort, though, knowing that God loves me regardless of whether or not people do. I will be accepted in His house. Then I wonder, will I be outside with the unbelievers where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth? heh. I guess working here brings some things into perspective.
I don't know where I'm headed, but I'm thinking that I need to pray more and find direction. I wonder where I'll go?