It's been a long time since I last blogged. A lot has been happening in my absence, but I figured it's all not worth mentioning...nothing really newsworthy.

I feel like a lot things are happening so much to people around my age and my siblings. I don't know how to describe it, but it seems like reality is hitting us all in different ways.

As for me, I am feeling depressed and really just not wanting to face life right now. Maybe I need a vacation or something like that. But I don't feel like it will help. Rest is not what I need right now, it's got to be something else.

This past day being Sunday, I felt like maybe I missed out on something again. I didn't make it to church for the 7th or 8th consecutive week and I can't help but feel like I'm not knowing what God has in store for me to do. I also don't want to find out.

Maybe I've forgotten a lot of what happened in college and the times of growth that I had spiritually. But as of the past two years, I've been feeling like the world is just kicking my butt and that I'm growing more and more bitter and feeling more like a loser everyday.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I'm just tired of everything right now and I don't want to face anything right now. I guess i can't help what the world does. I can only help what I can do myself and try to rely on God throughout these times. It seems like the only constant that has been good in my life has been God. I guess I can't really turn to anyone else right now.