So what are you going to do?

Not sure...I really should be applying to different jobs...I keep on thinking that I want to do stuff that relates to Japanese, but then when I look at my own life, I see that I get frustrated with the things that I can't understand right now in the language. I guess I need to make sure that I learn something new each day...man...I already mailed all my texts back to America except my manga. I guess I won't know what I'll be doing when I get back...I guess I should make a schedule in terms of my studying...but I wonder if I'll be motivated enough to get going on that. Oh well...

My lot in life...not a bad lot, but one that requires me to depend on God a lot more than i have been doing. Anyway, I don't know what the heck I'm doing here. Or what the heck I will be doing in the future. But I do know that God is good. I went to church again in Tokyo with my friend. I need to make it to my church here in Yamanashi this next Sunday. Man, I don't know what to say. But yeah, definitely hearing a message about LIFE is something that i need to hear more of. I lost my direction these past 7 months. I probably could have made more of an impact here, but I think that I need to go home.

I don't know what will happen to the people here, but I hope that the person after me will be a good person at least and will be a Christian. I guess I should pray more. Anyway, don't know what else to say. There is a need, but I think that I need to rest. I don't know what to say, but I wasn't planning to stay in Japan for more than 2 years. I stayed here less than a year. I don't know...I don't know why I'm here. I guess I'll never know until much later.

Anyway, I'm going to miss Japan. I'm going to be a fish out of water again when I return. I know that I'm going to be a little abrasive when I come back. heh.

Okay, I think that I need to stop the madness. I don't know how the heck I'm going to be able to read all of these games if I don't start studying Japanese and put down the video games. heh. I thought playing video games in Japanese would help, but it just creates more confusion for me. I think the key is to study Japanese, so that I'll be able to read what they're saying. heh...

I haven't been doing much lately. Only staying in my apartment. I wonder if I should travel around Japan for a little while. But I know that I wouldn't do that. heh.

To get to Osaka from my place, it cost $200 roundtrip. I was lucky that I got to go there at all. Anyway, my days haven't been filled with too much. I've been mainly just going to work, coming home and doing nothing but surf the net. Sometimes I write on my blog or check Fantasy sports.

Today, I talked to one of my friends online. He asked me if i gave up anything for Lent. I knew that it was the Lent season, but I didn't give up anything. I wonder what I could give up...Internet shopping? That might be tougher than I thought. I'll talk it over with one of my other friends. That might save the remaining time I have here in Japan as I spent most of my time surfing amazon or yamada denki. Freaking Yamada denki is the slowest website ever. I guess it gets a lot of hits from electronic crazy shoppers. heh. I don't even know when Easter is...hmm...

Oh well...I just looked it up and it's April 8th. That would be a long time to go without internet shopping, but maybe I should give up video game shopping totally and not internet shopping. I don't know...I should talk it over with G-sak if he thinks that this is a good thing. GC what do you think? email me if you read this.

Man, I've got to do something with my time here. Maybe i'll watch Bleach on the internet. Man, I love that anime. I should read the manga too as I don't catch all that they say.

Anyway...notice the new made up word in the label.

Hmm...maybe I should stop the madness. But I can't!!!

Anyway, I was talking to a friend tonight about how many video games I bought here in Japan. I told him, give me two minutes to count.

I counted 60. that's sick. I calculated all of that up, and that was about more than one months work of pay. I guess I see where my priorities lie. Video games, rent, food, electricity, water, and hopefully God comes into play somewhere.

I honestly must say that I haven't been to church in about 4 months. Ever since November...Anyway, I think that I've been really stressed with this teaching job. Now that it's ending, I'm finding that I'm able to wake up a little bit easier on the weekends. Which could explain why I bought so many video games these past 6 months. 10 video games a month does seem like quite a bit. Well, it wasn't 10 video games a month...it was more like, 3-6 and in the past 5 days, around 15. Hey, I'm not expecting to get these again for awhile. Hmm...oh well...I guess I should be more careful with my money. But man, I do have a weakness when it comes to spending money. Hmm...that's not a good thing. oh well...maybe I can sell these once I get back. Anyway, I'm hoping that I'll be able to find a job somewhere when I get back soon.

Hmm...I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I come back. But I think that my future will involve video games. heh. Maybe I can do that as a job sometime. Hire me as a video game tester!!! I guess I need programming experience. More school for me.

I'm wondering what I'll be doing as a job when i come home. I wasn't offered another year, so I'll be coming home in April for sure. Maybe I can beat these games that I bought and then sell them. heh.

Anyway, I think that I need to stop the madness and stop buying so much. I'm going to be on a very limited income soon.