Last push

Well, after last week's holiday I admit that I spent most of the time doing other things besides studying. I've just picked it up again, and have to double my speed to get to where I wanted to be before the test. The test is on Sunday.

Anyway, I'm not too worried about it. I'm not sure if I can pass it, but I think that I have some chance. We'll see if I worked hard enough when the test comes around.

GC is back!!!

Well, there was a nice get together for GC this past Sunday. It was cool to welcome him back and see some old friends that I haven't seen for awhile. We played Halo 2 and ate some won tons. It was a really good time.

The thing that I keep on thinking about is my weird behavior. I think that I'm just feeling uncomfortable around people, and that people sense that and I get weird looks. I guess it would be safe to say that if you're acting weird, people will give you weird looks. But all in all, I think that everyone who went had a good time and didn't notice how I was acting.

Fantasy sports

For some odd reason, my team is doing quite well in basketball. I look at other people's scoreboards and see that they have more points, rebounds, assists, blocks, etc. racked up than I do in mine. I don't think that my team is going to stay on top for very long, but we'll see. I might just get lucky and my players might do better than expected. There are a lot of factors that play into these things, even though it's based on stats. I think that CA is going to win. We'll see.

You've got to pray~~~~uh!

If you don't know where that's from, it's a line from one of MC Hammer's songs. No idea what song, but I saw the video in 12th grade and it scarred me ever since. It's funny, because I saw that video in class and the person doing the report got sick of it in a very short amount of time.

MC Hammer, he really is a good entertainer. He has skills. When he tried to make his comeback, people didn't give him a chance. But I guess from stuff like that video I saw, the repetitiveness of his lyrics just got to people. It got to me, because the line, "You've got to Prayyyyyyyy~uh!" came up so many times. I guess it's true that if you repeat something enough, you'll remember it.

But what he is trying to encourage is true. I really need to pray. Prayer has changed my life, because God actually hears prayers. Anyway, I need to pray. uh! Because I haven't been doing it enough.

Traditions

Thanksgiving this year was good, but for some reason, I didn't feel thankful. There's lots to be thankful for. My parents haven't kicked me out of the house and are letting me stay there for awhile; I have my life and health; and some good friends. But, not feeling thankful wasn't the problem. I felt like I had forgotten God.

My relationship with God doesn't seem to be going the best, because I have no schedule and I always seem to put God last. Every time that I try to put God first, I fall asleep praying and go into the cycle of praying while I'm sleeping. (It's usually a bunch of gibberish.) Maybe I just need to stop writing about this and spend time with God in prayer and in His word.

I feel like I'm just going through motions and I'm not doing something positive with what I'm learning. I feel so much like a hypocrite who wants good things to happen, yet does nothing to help others to make them happen. And I know that our faith is not about the doing part, but, if you have faith, then what you do will show what you believe. Anyway, yeah, I guess this will have to take some effort rather than just writing on a blog.

Anyway, I do feel alive when doing ministry. But not so much of the ministry inside the church, but rather outside. It's exciting to meet new people and learn who they are. I know that there are so many people who don't know God, that could know God if we just reached out to them. Didn't Jesus reach out to the people who need help?

The question is, how do you do that? Something I'm still trying to learn as I go along.

Anyway, I've got to study. I'll post more later.

JLPT is coming up

Man, I'm not really wanting to go do this test. I feel so unprepared, but I guess if I work on it to the end, I'm sure that I'll do alright. Maybe I'll pass, but probably not. The thing that gets me the most is the comprehension part. Yeah, speech was never my strong point. I should have majored in music. heh.

Anyway, I'm sure that I'll be able to find a job of some sort for the time being after the test. I don't think that I'll be able to take a job using Japanese at the moment.

Anyway, I'm going to stick it to this test. And if it sticks me, I'll just have to train harder afterwards.

Dilligence and Boxing

Like anything, if you want to get good at something, you're going to have to invest a lot of time and effort and practice into it. I've learned from playing piano 13 years that you don't learn a very hard piece overnight. It takes weeks, if not months to learn the whole thing and to play it well. Plus to maintain it, you have to keep practicing over and over until you can get it right. (Note there are also methods that you can use or invent that will help you do something right. Examples are finger exercises, practicing a small portion of the piece until you can get that done well, and not taking in too much at once.) Frankly if you want to do something that you can achieve, it's going to take work.

For me, after coming home from a tutoring session with my teacher and my friends, I was really bummed out. I am not ready for this test and I spent most of today just moping around. I basically was so bummed that I just kept trying to make myself feel better and find some inspiration.

I found that some things do not come easily to most people, such as piano, and even if you can't do it that doesn't mean that you're stupid. Who is anyone to judge another person if they are stupid or not. When you label someone, you don't see them as a person, but the label. In a way, you lessen their humanity in your eyes. Yeah, I thought someone called me a moron and I thought that my teacher called me lazy. So I was partly bummed out because of that. But, what they say doesn't matter right now. (I'm not sure if they even called me that, but I thought that it was true, so it hurt.) I've gotten past that for now. It was a good chance to look at reality and where I am right now.

My new motto for right now is, "Stick it to 'em." It goes with the picture of a boxer. Granted I'm no boxer, but just the image of how much they struggle to keep in shape and be better than everyone else at what they do encourages me to work hard and become the best at whatever I will do. Stick it to 'em, if you didn't know means to throw punches. Granted it's only your opponent that you're throwing punches at. So don't take it the wrong way that I mean this to anybody. My opponent is not people. A better word could be translated as "Adversary."

This world will try to bring you down. People are not perfect and they will also try to bring you down from time to time over small things. But people should not be your enemy. God loves all people and really we should be trying to help people, but it doesn't always come out that way I know. Anyway, forgive others as God has forgiven you. But make sure that you let them know about their wrong if you have anything against them.

I've believe that choices that you make will determine which path you walk. We all have choices each and every day. How we deal with them and how we resolve them will make a big difference in our lives. Sometimes we'll need help with them. Your Pastor or counselor might be able to help you work things out.

Japanese Language Proficiency Test

It's not looking good for me in terms of this test. But I figure, it's only a test. If I don't pass, then it's not the end of the world. Even though I did spend a lot of money for preparation of this test, I know that there are other things that matter more. If I don't pass, I'll take it next year. If I do pass, then I'll try for level one.

Anyway, I know that I'm not good at Japanese, but I know with a lot of training and diligence I'll become better and better until I'll learn how to speak Japanese effectively.

Star Wars Episode III

I'm excited for the new Star Wars episode coming out. It's coming out in May, but you can view the trailer at www.starwars.com

The trailer is only the teaser so far, but I think that this will be much better than Episode 2. Well, I hope it will be. With the closing of the series, it better be good. heh

They should go LOTR style and make it 3 hours. 2 hours is just too short to tie in all the details. I hope that Lucas will do a better job in this one than he did in Episode I.

Rethinking video games

After thinking about what I wrote yesterday, I can say that the results that happened to me didn't necessarily come only through video games, but through people as well as other things. Video games were just part of the experiences that I actually gained.

Video games are fun, but they can be harmful. There is a direct coralation between how depressed a depressed person gets and how much time they spend playing video games. The reason is that they spend time alone while playing video games, or they don't talk that much while they're concentrating. Depression can worsen if a person spend too much time alone.

I'm not saying video games are bad. But just saying that you need balance in your life. All of one thing cannot be good for someone. People need to be a part of your life and you need to do other things besides work.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. But all play and no work makes me lazy.

Lately, I've been trying to study for the Japanese Language proficiency test. It's coming up in three weeks. I don't feel ready for it, so I've put limits on how much video games I play. I have so many, and I want to play them and beat them, but it's just not right to spend your life as a hermit. Without other people telling you if you're going a wrong way, you might not see if you actually are.

Anyway, back to work, so basically my job right now is studying for the Japanese Language test. I've been getting some good hours, but not too much clarification. Sometimes there aren't enough examples.

For example, the phrase "kaneru" in Japanese, is used after a verb which means... the verb and kaneru shows that you want to do that verb, but don't. In my preparation book, it just says, "hard to do", or "there's a psychological block, so you can't do it." That's fine, but it didn't tell me that you wanted to do that, but couldn't. My prep book just isn't very good. And I can see why this test really doesn't show that you can use the language, but only understand it. However, it does show that you are in some way fluent.

Tests in Japan
For some reason, tests are big in Japan. I think it goes back to China where you would have to pass a test to get some sort of certification and then you could serve in the royal house and become rich. It was kind of like getting a college degree, only that this was more extreme. The tests were hard, and a lot more is based on those tests.

So for Japan, you need to take tests to get into preschools, elementary schools, Jr. High schools, and High schools, then college. What you score on your test determines where you will go. It's pretty crazy in that I've heard that some of the information on the tests that you study is just basically rote memorization. It seems like most of it is basically useless or just trivia.

I have never taken a test in Japan, but seeing some of the number problems for elementary schools does test your knowledge. So not all the problems are useless. Some really test your IQ.

Living in Asia is crazy. The students that come here the University that I went to (in the US), from Asia, are basically top notch students. The schools really are hard on the kids. I would guess that I wouldn't like living in Asia if I were a kid. America, the land of opportunity...I guess America isn't such a bad place to live.

Foreign schools

You'd be surprised at how good some schools are around the world. A person that I met that works for a prominent computer company said that in the philippines, she went to school when it was dark, and would come home when it was dark. She learned basically everything that we learned in our schools, only earlier. When she came to the US, she was skipped ahead 2-3 grades, because she knew all the info for the grade level that she was placed in because of her age. She is actually younger than me and has been working for about 2-3 years already. Crazy.

Granted she did go to a private Catholic school in the Philippines, but still, just seeing how good some of the schools are oveseas does kind of make you wonder why the US doesn't accept some of the foreign schools as equal.

This one guy that I met from Iran took about 2 years of college in Iran. He came to the US and had to start from scratch in the University that I attended, because they wouldn't accept his transfer credits. He complained to me that it was such a simple class, he didn't know why they had to give him so much hw. (It was one of the Physics calculus series weed out classes.) hehe
Man, I'm glad I'm out of school. =)

Anyway, yeah, not too interesting today, but yeah, it helps me to write things out. Yeah, this test will be important, but still, what's more important is the application after the test. I guess the Japanese Language Proficiency Test is a good way to learn some of the basics of the language and advance later. Hmm...even though I'm complaining about the stuff that I have, it's still not bad. And I'm sure that I can learn this from some native speaker or somebody.

Video games...so many, so little time to play them

Man, despite how many games I have, I haven't played very many of them. It could be that when I entered college I made a promise not to play video games in the dorms. I stuck to that promise and ended up doing something other than playing video games or doing homework. I started to socialize.

Yeah, I realized how empty life was when there's no friends in your life. I had done so many great things in my video game world, but nobody really cared. I found that I really didn't have very many friends in high school. Even in Jr. High, my friends started to find their own groups. Jr. High was a very tough time in making adjustments both physically and socially. The people that I did make friends with during those times were not necessarliy the best people to hang around.

I had a goal to become popular and have lots of friends in 12th grade. That never came, but the year afterwards, my dream came true.

As I look at how my life has progressed, I see that one event led to another event. It didn't magically appear. I had to make something happen. I had to work at something to make it into a reality. It wasn't until I stopped playing video games my 11th grade year that things started to move in the right direction.

Anyway, enough about the past. I could go on for a long time about it. There was a lot of bad, but there was a lot of good. I'm just glad that my brother was praying for me throughout that time. It helped so much. So much, because the direction that I took led to a better life for myself. I just hope that I don't waste too much more of my life doing things that don't matter.

Even with that said, I still enjoy video games. I play them on the weekends or when I have finished a significant amount of work. I know that they can ruin my life if I get too involved with them, but still they are a good distraction from time to time.

I guess I wrote this entry because I'm trying to remind myself not to play that many video games and to work on improving my own life. My social skills are not the greatest, but college has helped in changing parts of that. I, again, state that I write on my blog mainly for reminders to myself. I don't write everything, because it's not like I want to tell the whole world everything that's happening. But I do think that it can help people in their own lives as well.

Anyway, you don't have to agree with everything. This is mainly a journal of my thoughts.

Back to video games

I am finding that my main goal in playing these video games is to get an idea of how people speak in Japanese. But mainly I play, because it's a fun way to pass the time, and a good way to learn some new commonly used kanji.

I've learned some lessons from video games though. They weren't a complete waste of time.

"Try again, and don't get angry if you fail." I find that it's a great way to gain tenacity. It's a different way, but still it taught me to not get so angry when someone loses a football game, or doesn't come through on a project.

"Improving takes time and lots of practice." In RPGs, role playing games, especially in Final Fantasy, there are some mini side quests that involve a lot of patience and practice. It's kind of pointless in that you only receive something in the game because of your hard work. But, you learn that like anything, if you want to get good at something, you've got to put in the time and practice. Just like learning an instrument or a language.
Granted there are geniuses who can learn these things faster, but still, work ethic is important to improving.

"Don't spend all your time doing one thing." If you spend all your time playing video games, you'll never learn anything else. In life in general, if you don't try new things, you'll never know what you're missing.

"Know your limits, or don't try at all." I'm referring to addiction. I personally don't drink, because, 1. I can't. 2. I know that I wouldn't be able to stop drinking once I started. I know myself well because of how addicted I was to video games. Now, I pay attention to the time that I spend when I playing them.

Anyway, take it or leave it. You may think that this is nonsense, but these are some things that I've found true in my life. Anyway, I'm not saying that video games are a waste of time, but you need balance in your life. How many times have you heard that?

Studying for the Japanese language proficiency test

Studying is coming along alright. There's not too much time left and I'm finding that I'm more motivated to study for this test. How I was studying before was that I was reading newspaper articles and watching anime to understand how people actually use Japanese. Now I'm using a grammar book and studying the old tests. It's a pretty hard test.

Looking at the scores from this old test, there was one person who scored 400 points (perfect) and one person who scored 23 points. The average for the test is about 55%, which is not passing. Note that this is only for the level that I'm taking. 60% is passing for levels 2-4. 70% is passing for Level 1, the highest level.

One thing that I'm having trouble with is that the book that I bought to help me study does not have very good explanations of what a term means. I'm finding that they use synonyms, but really, it would have been nice if they did a little more in the explanations.

Most of my time today was spent studying for the test. I didn't get very far in the book, so I'm trying to pick it up some more. I find that writing sentences for the grammar points helps, but what I'm going to have to do more of is get back into the habit of reading newspapers.

Church

In regards to church, I've been finding that I've been coming late most of the time. I think the reason is that it's just not in my internal clock. If it started at 10, then maybe I would have a better chance of getting there on time. I guess maybe I need to find a job.

But Sunday school has been good so far. I've been learning about the epistles and main points that Paul, James, and mostly Paul again have written. Points about God the father, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, on life together with Jesus (community), and other things which I need to study more about. I won't go into too much detail right now, but I feel that this is a really good class and that I need to look at these notes more closely and apply them to my life.

Life in general

Yesterday, my dad found some free guitar lessons online. Isn't the internet great? Unfortunately the guy who wrote them died from cancer. The guy kind of had a blog going on with how his battle with cancer was going. He wrote that he "hated putting his family through all of this." He ended up dying this past year.

What my dad told me was, "You've got to enjoy life. You could be here today, and gone tomorrow." When I think about life, what matters most should be God and people. If I were to look at what I spend my time and money in, I'd say that it would be things Japanese. Ie video games, anime, studying the language and trying to see what's going on in Japan. As of right now, that's important to my career, but I wonder if I'm missing more important things.

Anyway, life has been good in general, and I'm not complaining at what could be. I've been pondering at some things that have passed by. I realize that I'm taking a lot of things for granted and some things I'm looking too much into, but for some reason, I don't feel like changing. Maybe it's the studying. Even though I'm not busy with work, I'm really busy studying and trying to do well for this test. Maybe I should just pray about it and see where God leads me.