Tuesday, March 29, 2005
I used to think that once I got out of school, my life would be so much better. Now that I am out of school, I don't miss the schoolwork, but I miss the people. I can see why retired guys go to the mall to hang out. They want to be in the atmosphere where there are other people around.
As a kid, I used to hate being around people. I was never good at talking to others, and I'm still not good at that. I used to want to just do a job, play games, and go to sleep. Now, I have no job, I play games, and can repeat the same thing as many times as I want to.
It's kind of boring sometimes...I guess I need to find something to do that's more constructive. hehe.
It's kind of weird, you could have all that you want in this world and not be happy. Post College life is a lot different than college life.
Anyway, I'm just thinking right now...
Well...I'm going to make some plans and stick to them. Life is what you make out of it. Yeah, bad things do come, and there are a lot of things that we can't control, like deaths or illnesses, bad luck, etc. But we are not helpless and we do have some power over our own lives.
A famous golfer in Canada who is like Jack Nicklaus here, Mo Norman, really had a good philosophy for life.
My dad was watching the tapes that he bought of Mo Norman giving advice about how to be a great golfer. It was not only true for golf, but also true for life. He took ideas from psychology. One of them was that people tend to beat themselves down when they hit a bad shot. It goes into the trees or water and they say, eg. 'Why am I such a bad golfer?' People hinder themselves from doing better or learning from that shot and moving on.
Mo Norman said, "People don't realize that your brain is a money maker." "People use only 10% of their brain...what do they do with the rest of it?"
He was a great golfer and he got there by practicing religiously. He swung in an unconventional way with heavy clubs that golfers don't normally use. But he had his own reasons for using this method. He based it upon the model of a hammer and a nail. When the carpenter swings the hammer, they don't bring it behind their head, they bring it only so far away and swing so they can hit it accurately. In the same way, instead of making lighter clubs that he could swing faster, he made heavier clubs like a hammer and swung back only as far was he felt comfortable enough to hit the ball accurately. But he always hit the fairway. He was strong enough to do this...he was a huge guy. But the main point was that he always practiced day in and day out so that he got things down cold.
I guess why I'm writing this is that I know what I have to do to get somewhere. I know how to get there and I know that I can do this. I'm just wondering...do I really want to put in this much effort?
From one of my Japanese teachers, I've seen that preparation and hard work DO pay off. He was the best Japanese teacher I ever had. Plus he is also a great human being. One does not become this by accident.
Hmm...okay, I've made my decision. Now I've got to stick to it!
As a kid, I used to hate being around people. I was never good at talking to others, and I'm still not good at that. I used to want to just do a job, play games, and go to sleep. Now, I have no job, I play games, and can repeat the same thing as many times as I want to.
It's kind of boring sometimes...I guess I need to find something to do that's more constructive. hehe.
It's kind of weird, you could have all that you want in this world and not be happy. Post College life is a lot different than college life.
Anyway, I'm just thinking right now...
Well...I'm going to make some plans and stick to them. Life is what you make out of it. Yeah, bad things do come, and there are a lot of things that we can't control, like deaths or illnesses, bad luck, etc. But we are not helpless and we do have some power over our own lives.
A famous golfer in Canada who is like Jack Nicklaus here, Mo Norman, really had a good philosophy for life.
My dad was watching the tapes that he bought of Mo Norman giving advice about how to be a great golfer. It was not only true for golf, but also true for life. He took ideas from psychology. One of them was that people tend to beat themselves down when they hit a bad shot. It goes into the trees or water and they say, eg. 'Why am I such a bad golfer?' People hinder themselves from doing better or learning from that shot and moving on.
Mo Norman said, "People don't realize that your brain is a money maker." "People use only 10% of their brain...what do they do with the rest of it?"
He was a great golfer and he got there by practicing religiously. He swung in an unconventional way with heavy clubs that golfers don't normally use. But he had his own reasons for using this method. He based it upon the model of a hammer and a nail. When the carpenter swings the hammer, they don't bring it behind their head, they bring it only so far away and swing so they can hit it accurately. In the same way, instead of making lighter clubs that he could swing faster, he made heavier clubs like a hammer and swung back only as far was he felt comfortable enough to hit the ball accurately. But he always hit the fairway. He was strong enough to do this...he was a huge guy. But the main point was that he always practiced day in and day out so that he got things down cold.
I guess why I'm writing this is that I know what I have to do to get somewhere. I know how to get there and I know that I can do this. I'm just wondering...do I really want to put in this much effort?
From one of my Japanese teachers, I've seen that preparation and hard work DO pay off. He was the best Japanese teacher I ever had. Plus he is also a great human being. One does not become this by accident.
Hmm...okay, I've made my decision. Now I've got to stick to it!
Monday, March 28, 2005
Earthquake in Indonesia
If you haven't heard, there was an earthquake in Indonesia. You can find the article here. The magnitude is pretty high in this earthquake...
Thank goodness that no tsunamis came because of this. Hopefully there will be no more deaths.
With a whole lot of natural disasters that have come up in the last 5-6 years, I'm wondering how much more will come. I'm sure a lot more will come and in a short time. Well...never hurts to prepare for things.
Man, all we are are little ants on this planet. We cannot control things like this.
If you haven't heard, there was an earthquake in Indonesia. You can find the article here. The magnitude is pretty high in this earthquake...
Thank goodness that no tsunamis came because of this. Hopefully there will be no more deaths.
With a whole lot of natural disasters that have come up in the last 5-6 years, I'm wondering how much more will come. I'm sure a lot more will come and in a short time. Well...never hurts to prepare for things.
Man, all we are are little ants on this planet. We cannot control things like this.
Easter has come and I'm reflecting about my past year
Good Friday service was pretty solemn. It was a reminder that Jesus was crucified on that day (Friday) and that it seemed like the world had ended. People expected the Messiah to be a political leader who would redeem Israel from the Romans. Apparently God had a different plan than man.
Anyway, some things came up and I'd rather not share what's going on. But lets say that there are some things that I need to work on and some things in the past that I still need to resolve. I have issues and I need to work on them.
Good Friday and Easter was a time for me to remember why I follow God in the first place. I think that I took my faith for granted these past two years. And I'm finding that I need to just get back into some good habits.
The drama on Easter Sunday was about a person carrying a lot of baggage with them. Pain, regret, guilt, and worrying. Plus this person didn't have a job either and was still waiting on God to get back to her. It was almost like it was talking to me...but yeah, the message was that a person was having all these things, and was doubting as to whether or not to let God have them. She wanted to pick them back up and carry them with her. But in the end, she left them with God for now and it ended with a fade to black. Someone sang a song about praying and getting back to God during the drama. It was a pretty serious drama, but really awesome. I really need to let God have things in my life and let Him have His way in my life. But then again, I really don't want to. I'd rather hang on to control of my own life.
More than being entertained, I need to make choices as to what I'm going to do with my days. Everyday, I have choices to make.
I look at some of my friends who are doing well. I shouldn't compare myself to them, but I can learn from them. I didn't pass the Proficiency test, but two of my friends probably did. Why? They put in the consistent effort to learn. They have the skills, I don't. If I want something, then I have to put in the time to actually learn something. It may not come as easily, but then again, some people are naturally better at some things, and some people will have to work harder to reach a certain level.
Anyway, God's plans are different from mine. I don't know where I'm heading to. But I know that there is a direction that I will go. I wonder if I become homeless, what will I do? I think that choices are really important. What you do with your time determines a lot. Also, how you react to things too. Will you react in jealousy? Or will you be happy for those who receive good things? Maybe this is a lesson that I'm supposed to learn...
Good Friday service was pretty solemn. It was a reminder that Jesus was crucified on that day (Friday) and that it seemed like the world had ended. People expected the Messiah to be a political leader who would redeem Israel from the Romans. Apparently God had a different plan than man.
Anyway, some things came up and I'd rather not share what's going on. But lets say that there are some things that I need to work on and some things in the past that I still need to resolve. I have issues and I need to work on them.
Good Friday and Easter was a time for me to remember why I follow God in the first place. I think that I took my faith for granted these past two years. And I'm finding that I need to just get back into some good habits.
The drama on Easter Sunday was about a person carrying a lot of baggage with them. Pain, regret, guilt, and worrying. Plus this person didn't have a job either and was still waiting on God to get back to her. It was almost like it was talking to me...but yeah, the message was that a person was having all these things, and was doubting as to whether or not to let God have them. She wanted to pick them back up and carry them with her. But in the end, she left them with God for now and it ended with a fade to black. Someone sang a song about praying and getting back to God during the drama. It was a pretty serious drama, but really awesome. I really need to let God have things in my life and let Him have His way in my life. But then again, I really don't want to. I'd rather hang on to control of my own life.
More than being entertained, I need to make choices as to what I'm going to do with my days. Everyday, I have choices to make.
I look at some of my friends who are doing well. I shouldn't compare myself to them, but I can learn from them. I didn't pass the Proficiency test, but two of my friends probably did. Why? They put in the consistent effort to learn. They have the skills, I don't. If I want something, then I have to put in the time to actually learn something. It may not come as easily, but then again, some people are naturally better at some things, and some people will have to work harder to reach a certain level.
Anyway, God's plans are different from mine. I don't know where I'm heading to. But I know that there is a direction that I will go. I wonder if I become homeless, what will I do? I think that choices are really important. What you do with your time determines a lot. Also, how you react to things too. Will you react in jealousy? Or will you be happy for those who receive good things? Maybe this is a lesson that I'm supposed to learn...
Thursday, March 24, 2005
There's nothing here...
Well, yesterday I showed some people around my hood. Brought them to a Hawaiian restaurant and took them to the nearest outlet mall. Really, I haven' t been to the Hawaiian restaurant ever and have NOT been to the mall for a long time, so I wasn't sure what to expect. But I remember why I never go to that mall anymore. It is way too expensive, plus they don't have very good stores there either.
The Hawaiian restaurant near my neighborhood is not too bad. I should have not gotten the Chicken Katsu and should have probably gotten something else. However, the fries were deep fried and were really good.
Anyway, I told my friend to come down to the shopping district by bus. Then I take them to my neighborhood and then go to the outlet mall close by. Probably the shopping district would have been a better place to shop. heh. Oh well.
We come back to my house and play Star Wars Epic Duels. Then we go back to the shopping district and stop by Costco. From there, I drive one of my friends back up to where he lives and the other friend meets someone else in the shopping district.
Anyway, I've come to realize that there's not too much around my neighborhood. Everyone goes to the big city to do something. Well, I think that this is the last time I do this. There's nothing here that people would want to travel for.
I suggested some other stores, but they have those near the University.
Maybe there's a chance for an interview
I got an email yesterday also. It was from the game testing company that I applied to. Apparently they have some openings, but I'm thinking that this is going to be really tough to get. Plus I might not even get the interview. Also, I'm not sure if I can stomach this game that they're planning to come out with. We'll see though. I might get used to it if I play it long enough. But then again, I used to get sick from those old games that were similar.
I watched some of my friends play Rainbow Six on XBOX live and the video games now do not cause as much motion sickenss. Wolfinstein 3d, the first version, really made me sick. Doom came out and it wasn't so bad, but it ruined my computer. Doom had a flaw that kept on writing and writing so if you played it long enough, then it would ruin your hard drive if you didn't delete it after so many times of playing it. Then I stopped playing First person shooters.
I played Halo serveral times, and that wasn't so bad. I think that wearing my glasses helped a lot. I think not wearing my glasses is why I get motion sick when I play those types of games. Yeah, the testing is a first person shooter. Well, if Rainbow Six wasn't that bad, I'm hoping that this new one will not be so bad either.
Well, all I can do is hope that I can get an interview for this job. Then, hopefully they'll give me a job. We'll see though. I updated what I thought was great about one particular game and its flaws, so hopefully they'll notice that. I'm sure that they'll ask me if I get motion sick, but I'll see if I get the interview and when I test it, I'll see if I can do this.
Given how little experience I have with FPS, I don't expect to get this job. But we'll see.
Well, yesterday I showed some people around my hood. Brought them to a Hawaiian restaurant and took them to the nearest outlet mall. Really, I haven' t been to the Hawaiian restaurant ever and have NOT been to the mall for a long time, so I wasn't sure what to expect. But I remember why I never go to that mall anymore. It is way too expensive, plus they don't have very good stores there either.
The Hawaiian restaurant near my neighborhood is not too bad. I should have not gotten the Chicken Katsu and should have probably gotten something else. However, the fries were deep fried and were really good.
Anyway, I told my friend to come down to the shopping district by bus. Then I take them to my neighborhood and then go to the outlet mall close by. Probably the shopping district would have been a better place to shop. heh. Oh well.
We come back to my house and play Star Wars Epic Duels. Then we go back to the shopping district and stop by Costco. From there, I drive one of my friends back up to where he lives and the other friend meets someone else in the shopping district.
Anyway, I've come to realize that there's not too much around my neighborhood. Everyone goes to the big city to do something. Well, I think that this is the last time I do this. There's nothing here that people would want to travel for.
I suggested some other stores, but they have those near the University.
Maybe there's a chance for an interview
I got an email yesterday also. It was from the game testing company that I applied to. Apparently they have some openings, but I'm thinking that this is going to be really tough to get. Plus I might not even get the interview. Also, I'm not sure if I can stomach this game that they're planning to come out with. We'll see though. I might get used to it if I play it long enough. But then again, I used to get sick from those old games that were similar.
I watched some of my friends play Rainbow Six on XBOX live and the video games now do not cause as much motion sickenss. Wolfinstein 3d, the first version, really made me sick. Doom came out and it wasn't so bad, but it ruined my computer. Doom had a flaw that kept on writing and writing so if you played it long enough, then it would ruin your hard drive if you didn't delete it after so many times of playing it. Then I stopped playing First person shooters.
I played Halo serveral times, and that wasn't so bad. I think that wearing my glasses helped a lot. I think not wearing my glasses is why I get motion sick when I play those types of games. Yeah, the testing is a first person shooter. Well, if Rainbow Six wasn't that bad, I'm hoping that this new one will not be so bad either.
Well, all I can do is hope that I can get an interview for this job. Then, hopefully they'll give me a job. We'll see though. I updated what I thought was great about one particular game and its flaws, so hopefully they'll notice that. I'm sure that they'll ask me if I get motion sick, but I'll see if I get the interview and when I test it, I'll see if I can do this.
Given how little experience I have with FPS, I don't expect to get this job. But we'll see.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Not Accepted...
I got my response back from the agency that I applied to. I received an email about 5 days ago saying that I did not score high enough on my test, so I would not be considered any further. I received the written statement a couple of days ago and they said that there were three parts to the test.
1. How likable you are when you first meet them (It didn't actually say that, but that's how I took it. heh)
2. the responses that you gave to hypothetical questions
3. The actual on the phone conversation questions at the interview
I guess maybe this is not where I'm supposed to be. I specifically prayed that if God wanted me to go on the mission, that he would make sure that I didn't get this job. However, when I think about this, I can honestly say that it was because of my lack of social and conversational skills that hurt me in this interview. I don't think that this is any real direction as to the mission, but I can't help but wonder, does God want me to go on this mission?
It's been way past the deadline for this mission thing, and I'm thinking that I really need to get a job or else I'm going to be in trouble. Not with my parents, but in terms of other circumstances.
Teaching in Japan comes to mind, but then I think, "if I can't relate to people right now, how will I be able to actually teach people that I meet?" I'm thinking that I'm going to postpone that for now and find a job here in the states before I actually apply.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my life, but I figure that I'd rather not get stuck in a dead-end job and feel obligated to stay there for the rest of my life. I'd feel obligated, because if someone invested in me, I'd have that sense of debt and loyalty to the company. However, I guess it's different in the US. You can move to different jobs if you get another. But then, if I get a job with a Japanese company in the US, then what? Maybe I'm worrying too much...plus I'm counting my chickens before they hatch...
Anyway, I still have no job and I'm wondering if I should just work at one of the places that hire high school students. I remember working at Office depot when I graduated High school. It was a great experience, because of the people that I worked with and how great the customers were. It was a great learning experience and I applied that to my first meetings with people in college. However, I forgot most of the skills that I learned after a year or two from the time that I quit. I can say that I got that job because of my experience going on an exchange to Japan. It's weird how things worked out.
I actually was asked to go on an exchange to Japan my Junior year of High school, for the Judo program. However, because of complications, I wasn't able to go. So I went my Senior year, which is not common, because you're expected to help the students back in your own high school. So my teachers made it up to me for not letting me go the previous year.
The thing that I learned from my experience in Japan was that
1. People are not so bad after all
2. Taking chances pays off even though you may be giving a lot, some people may respond
I took a lot of chances out of my comfort zone, and people responded to me. I was a very quiet kid (and still am) but I said what came to the top of my head and people received me well. Even though most people didn't respond as well as some did to me, the few that did really helped me to see that "not everyone is bad." I remember Japan fondly in my heart. However, I'm scared of going back, because I think that it would be ruined by a different experience that I'm imagining. All the things that I've learned makes me wonder if I'll be able to adjust to life in Japan. It's different going as someone who's not a guest. Or at least I think it is.
Anyway, with the recent earthquake in Japan a couple of days ago, and Mel writing on his Xanga that he experienced an earthquake in Japan a little awhile ago before this past one it makes me think that there might be a reason why I'm not in Japan right now. I don't know what purpose I'd have there, but for some reason, I don't think that it would be good for me to go right now.
Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for a job. Hopefully I'll be able to game test, but that seems unlikely as they did not interview me yet and probably won't. I guess I've just got to keep looking for jobs and actually go to church.
Missed Sunday
I made those resolutions Sunday, because I missed church and one of my friends is leaving for somewhere else. He was giving his testimony there and I missed it. Well...maybe I can ask him before he leaves.
Going to church is important, because you experience life in the body. It's not an easy thing to go to church sometimes, but going means that you get to hear a word and message, experience life in the body, serve in some capacity, and prepare for this week to do what you have learned.
Sometimes we go to church just to go and we don't understand what it means to follow God. Is that better than not going? I think that it's good to go, but following Christ is something you have to do daily and not only on Sundays.
I personally have been struggling to get to church, and I personally have not been following Christ as closely as I could be. Sundays are important to meet together with the rest of your fellow brothers and sisters and to encourage one another. I am going to make it a habit of getting up at 8 every morning. It didn't work yesterday, but today it worked. I just put on some warm clothes when I got up and it helped a lot.
Anyway, read G Chan's rant on March 16th about the Asian American Christian community in the NW. I agree with what he says. The thing that I ask myself is, what am I going to do about it? I think the first thing to do is pray. Then find some direction. Then do something when the time is right. I really don't have too many connections with that many people, but I'm thinking that there is some hope for the NW. I wonder if I'll actually participate, or if I'll slink away again.
Sunday Siestas...yeah, I need to go to church. I wonder exactly what is in store for the area where I live. There are problems yes, but I think that addressing them is the first step. It's not always received well, because sometimes we like to stay where we are...even if it's in sin. Don't get me wrong though...sometimes we change into things that are not good too. Anyway, it takes discernment. But yeah, I do agree that the state of the NW Asian American Christian community is not actually where it could be.
But yeah, I could write about it, but what am I going to do about it...I guess I have to start small and learn to care for the people again. I'm not saying that I'm going to do everything...but what I'm saying is that I can do something. (A little piece of wisdom that I picked up from one of my friends.)
I got my response back from the agency that I applied to. I received an email about 5 days ago saying that I did not score high enough on my test, so I would not be considered any further. I received the written statement a couple of days ago and they said that there were three parts to the test.
1. How likable you are when you first meet them (It didn't actually say that, but that's how I took it. heh)
2. the responses that you gave to hypothetical questions
3. The actual on the phone conversation questions at the interview
I guess maybe this is not where I'm supposed to be. I specifically prayed that if God wanted me to go on the mission, that he would make sure that I didn't get this job. However, when I think about this, I can honestly say that it was because of my lack of social and conversational skills that hurt me in this interview. I don't think that this is any real direction as to the mission, but I can't help but wonder, does God want me to go on this mission?
It's been way past the deadline for this mission thing, and I'm thinking that I really need to get a job or else I'm going to be in trouble. Not with my parents, but in terms of other circumstances.
Teaching in Japan comes to mind, but then I think, "if I can't relate to people right now, how will I be able to actually teach people that I meet?" I'm thinking that I'm going to postpone that for now and find a job here in the states before I actually apply.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my life, but I figure that I'd rather not get stuck in a dead-end job and feel obligated to stay there for the rest of my life. I'd feel obligated, because if someone invested in me, I'd have that sense of debt and loyalty to the company. However, I guess it's different in the US. You can move to different jobs if you get another. But then, if I get a job with a Japanese company in the US, then what? Maybe I'm worrying too much...plus I'm counting my chickens before they hatch...
Anyway, I still have no job and I'm wondering if I should just work at one of the places that hire high school students. I remember working at Office depot when I graduated High school. It was a great experience, because of the people that I worked with and how great the customers were. It was a great learning experience and I applied that to my first meetings with people in college. However, I forgot most of the skills that I learned after a year or two from the time that I quit. I can say that I got that job because of my experience going on an exchange to Japan. It's weird how things worked out.
I actually was asked to go on an exchange to Japan my Junior year of High school, for the Judo program. However, because of complications, I wasn't able to go. So I went my Senior year, which is not common, because you're expected to help the students back in your own high school. So my teachers made it up to me for not letting me go the previous year.
The thing that I learned from my experience in Japan was that
1. People are not so bad after all
2. Taking chances pays off even though you may be giving a lot, some people may respond
I took a lot of chances out of my comfort zone, and people responded to me. I was a very quiet kid (and still am) but I said what came to the top of my head and people received me well. Even though most people didn't respond as well as some did to me, the few that did really helped me to see that "not everyone is bad." I remember Japan fondly in my heart. However, I'm scared of going back, because I think that it would be ruined by a different experience that I'm imagining. All the things that I've learned makes me wonder if I'll be able to adjust to life in Japan. It's different going as someone who's not a guest. Or at least I think it is.
Anyway, with the recent earthquake in Japan a couple of days ago, and Mel writing on his Xanga that he experienced an earthquake in Japan a little awhile ago before this past one it makes me think that there might be a reason why I'm not in Japan right now. I don't know what purpose I'd have there, but for some reason, I don't think that it would be good for me to go right now.
Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm going to do for a job. Hopefully I'll be able to game test, but that seems unlikely as they did not interview me yet and probably won't. I guess I've just got to keep looking for jobs and actually go to church.
Missed Sunday
I made those resolutions Sunday, because I missed church and one of my friends is leaving for somewhere else. He was giving his testimony there and I missed it. Well...maybe I can ask him before he leaves.
Going to church is important, because you experience life in the body. It's not an easy thing to go to church sometimes, but going means that you get to hear a word and message, experience life in the body, serve in some capacity, and prepare for this week to do what you have learned.
Sometimes we go to church just to go and we don't understand what it means to follow God. Is that better than not going? I think that it's good to go, but following Christ is something you have to do daily and not only on Sundays.
I personally have been struggling to get to church, and I personally have not been following Christ as closely as I could be. Sundays are important to meet together with the rest of your fellow brothers and sisters and to encourage one another. I am going to make it a habit of getting up at 8 every morning. It didn't work yesterday, but today it worked. I just put on some warm clothes when I got up and it helped a lot.
Anyway, read G Chan's rant on March 16th about the Asian American Christian community in the NW. I agree with what he says. The thing that I ask myself is, what am I going to do about it? I think the first thing to do is pray. Then find some direction. Then do something when the time is right. I really don't have too many connections with that many people, but I'm thinking that there is some hope for the NW. I wonder if I'll actually participate, or if I'll slink away again.
Sunday Siestas...yeah, I need to go to church. I wonder exactly what is in store for the area where I live. There are problems yes, but I think that addressing them is the first step. It's not always received well, because sometimes we like to stay where we are...even if it's in sin. Don't get me wrong though...sometimes we change into things that are not good too. Anyway, it takes discernment. But yeah, I do agree that the state of the NW Asian American Christian community is not actually where it could be.
But yeah, I could write about it, but what am I going to do about it...I guess I have to start small and learn to care for the people again. I'm not saying that I'm going to do everything...but what I'm saying is that I can do something. (A little piece of wisdom that I picked up from one of my friends.)
Sunday, March 20, 2005
You know it's getting serious when you start to miss something frequently. Okay, resolutions are made and I'm going to make it to church every Sunday for the rest of this year.
1. Go to sleep early and wake up every morning at 8am
2. pray and read the bible everyday
3. exercise regularly...need to do something at least everyday whether it be pushups, sit ups, or aerobic activity
I'm going to start on those right now
1. Go to sleep early and wake up every morning at 8am
2. pray and read the bible everyday
3. exercise regularly...need to do something at least everyday whether it be pushups, sit ups, or aerobic activity
I'm going to start on those right now
Saturday, March 19, 2005
I broke my PS2...the story
(If you can't guess what this is about, it's about my game system called Playstation 2)
I bought a Japanese PS2 game a couple of days ago. To get the PS2 to play games from other regions, you need to either Mod your playstation, or use a boot disc to play those games. However, if you use a boot disc, you'll have to use the slide card to open up your DVD tray and insert the game after you've booted up the PS2 with the boot disc.
Okay, so I read off the internet how to use the slide card. First of all, you need to remove the faceplate for the DVD tray, so you can actually insert the slide card. Being the delicate instrument that the PS2 is, I broke the plastic clips that were holding the faceplate in. Also, you need to remember to take off the screw that's holding the clip. I did that before I broke the clips. Then I took off the faceplate and screwed the screw back in.
I then try to use the slide card...I'm not sure what went wrong, but I thought all you had to do was pull out the DVD tray with the slide card. Apparently, there is more to this than I thought. I pull out the DVD tray and expect tension as the website said. So I keep pulling, then I hear this grinding noise of plastic as I pull it out. Okay, so I push the Eject button to put the tray back in, and it only goes back in half way and comes back out to where I previously pulled it out.
This is not good. I pull the tray all the way out and I hear more grinding noises. I try the eject button again, still no luck. Then I push the tray all the way back into the slot and try again. Still no luck. My PS2 is useless like this.
So I ask my dad to help me. He breaks the seal of the PS2, so the warranty is now void, but fixing my PS2 is more important. Anyway, I tell my dad that there is the eject cord that is connected to the top of the case. He says okay, and then forgets about it. Anyway, the cord is pulled out, but it's no problem at the end, because he just reconnects it. in the switch. Apparently it is something that is not like a regular connector, but something that is clamped down by the weight of the system and screws holding the system together.
We unscrew a lot of screws and I'm not sure too much about this, but my dad gets it down to the dvd tray and unscrews the dvd tray. Underneath the tray is a track for the DVD to slide out. Also, how the DVD tray and lens seems to work is that when the tray goes out, then the lens sinks down. When the DVD tray goes in, the lens and holder come up so that it's holding the CD along with the top of the DVD player. Not a very good description, but lets say that it pinches the CD when it goes up so that it doesn't move when you're playing the DVD/CD.
Getting back to the track, the problem was that I pulled the tray off the track. It was "out of gear" according to my dad. When I tried to use the eject button earlier, the tray would catch the lens or clamp. When I tried to push it in, it had similar problems. The solution was to push the tray in all the way back and then pull it out without moving the gears and refit the track underneath the DVD tray to the white guide (a level with a notch that pushes the DVD tray along the track) in the right place. How it works is that the gears turn and the guide moves along the track so that the tray will always come out the same way. The gears also move the lens and holder down when you eject the tray, and up when you put it back in.
Anyway, my PS2 now works again. Thanks Dad for your help! I was afraid that I ruined my PS2 for good when I used the slide card. Well...now, I know never to use the slide card when I have no idea how to work it and how it actually works.
I bought a flip top case for my PS2 so I can use the boot disc without having to eject the tray. I am now waiting for it to come. I'm wondering if I should actually use that or just buy a Japanese PS2. Well...we'll see
[Re-Edit] I've changed the webpage that shows the slide card instructions. I tried the previous link a little while ago and it crashed my computer. Well, this one is actually a web page, so it won't be as bad. The link can be found here. If you still don't want to click on the link, just google slide card instructions
(If you can't guess what this is about, it's about my game system called Playstation 2)
I bought a Japanese PS2 game a couple of days ago. To get the PS2 to play games from other regions, you need to either Mod your playstation, or use a boot disc to play those games. However, if you use a boot disc, you'll have to use the slide card to open up your DVD tray and insert the game after you've booted up the PS2 with the boot disc.
Okay, so I read off the internet how to use the slide card. First of all, you need to remove the faceplate for the DVD tray, so you can actually insert the slide card. Being the delicate instrument that the PS2 is, I broke the plastic clips that were holding the faceplate in. Also, you need to remember to take off the screw that's holding the clip. I did that before I broke the clips. Then I took off the faceplate and screwed the screw back in.
I then try to use the slide card...I'm not sure what went wrong, but I thought all you had to do was pull out the DVD tray with the slide card. Apparently, there is more to this than I thought. I pull out the DVD tray and expect tension as the website said. So I keep pulling, then I hear this grinding noise of plastic as I pull it out. Okay, so I push the Eject button to put the tray back in, and it only goes back in half way and comes back out to where I previously pulled it out.
This is not good. I pull the tray all the way out and I hear more grinding noises. I try the eject button again, still no luck. Then I push the tray all the way back into the slot and try again. Still no luck. My PS2 is useless like this.
So I ask my dad to help me. He breaks the seal of the PS2, so the warranty is now void, but fixing my PS2 is more important. Anyway, I tell my dad that there is the eject cord that is connected to the top of the case. He says okay, and then forgets about it. Anyway, the cord is pulled out, but it's no problem at the end, because he just reconnects it. in the switch. Apparently it is something that is not like a regular connector, but something that is clamped down by the weight of the system and screws holding the system together.
We unscrew a lot of screws and I'm not sure too much about this, but my dad gets it down to the dvd tray and unscrews the dvd tray. Underneath the tray is a track for the DVD to slide out. Also, how the DVD tray and lens seems to work is that when the tray goes out, then the lens sinks down. When the DVD tray goes in, the lens and holder come up so that it's holding the CD along with the top of the DVD player. Not a very good description, but lets say that it pinches the CD when it goes up so that it doesn't move when you're playing the DVD/CD.
Getting back to the track, the problem was that I pulled the tray off the track. It was "out of gear" according to my dad. When I tried to use the eject button earlier, the tray would catch the lens or clamp. When I tried to push it in, it had similar problems. The solution was to push the tray in all the way back and then pull it out without moving the gears and refit the track underneath the DVD tray to the white guide (a level with a notch that pushes the DVD tray along the track) in the right place. How it works is that the gears turn and the guide moves along the track so that the tray will always come out the same way. The gears also move the lens and holder down when you eject the tray, and up when you put it back in.
Anyway, my PS2 now works again. Thanks Dad for your help! I was afraid that I ruined my PS2 for good when I used the slide card. Well...now, I know never to use the slide card when I have no idea how to work it and how it actually works.
I bought a flip top case for my PS2 so I can use the boot disc without having to eject the tray. I am now waiting for it to come. I'm wondering if I should actually use that or just buy a Japanese PS2. Well...we'll see
[Re-Edit] I've changed the webpage that shows the slide card instructions. I tried the previous link a little while ago and it crashed my computer. Well, this one is actually a web page, so it won't be as bad. The link can be found here. If you still don't want to click on the link, just google slide card instructions
I've just realized how thankless of a person I've become
Every other Friday, a group of career people from our church gather together and talk about the sermon that we heard in church the previous Sunday. That is the starter for our fellowship. The conversations are good and it is really cool to see what everyone else thought of the message and how we can all learn from the insights.
Afterwards, we share what's going on in our lives and share prayer requests. It's nice to hear the good things in people's lives that God is doing. However, I've come to see that I'm just really not thankful for what I do have in my own life. I thought, "Why can't that happen to me?"
Why am I always feeling like I'm on the downside? I mean, I could be worse off than I am now. I've seen that the reason why my friends are doing so well is that they are turning to God and telling Him their fears, struggles, and needs. And then, God provides for them. Not saying that you'll get everything you want from God, but saying that He DOES answer prayers, because He loves the world.
I did feel a little envious, because I am wanting a job and good things to happen to me. But then again, good things are happening to me, even though I don't have a job, even though I can't say that I've noticed an answer to prayer. I'm sure that many are being answered, I'm just not paying attention.
And that's the thing. I just haven't been noticing things. I mean, there are some people who experience tougher things in life than me and they are thankful for what they have, even though it is very little. Here I am in America with very little wrong done to me and I'm unhappy. When someone else is happy, I'm envious. When I'm happy, my friends rejoice with me. I guess what I learned tonight is that I need to thank God for being there and showing love towards me. I should also be thankful that He loves everyone else to bless others with good things too.
My friends at the career group are all happy, because they all know God and are meeting with other people during the week.
Anyway, I'm seeing that I need to pray more and read the Bible more. I haven't been doing that consistently. I also need to talk to people more often. Being at home, away from everyone else, it doesn't come as easily as it once did. And I must also start to take chances once again.
It's funny how things work out. Because of my faith, I will say that it is God who is helping me through these things. Okay, I know what I need to do.
John 17
The message this past Sunday was on John 17...focusing on verses 20-23. Anyway, one thing that I noticed is that I need to pray more for others. Looking at Jesus, He knew that His disciples were going to go through some rough times. But he prayed for protection for them and unity. Also for us who believed the message through the disciples.
He did not pray some general prayer, but a very specific prayer for those He loved. Prayers do not need to be general and for a lot of people. One person said tonight that our prayers do not need to be in quantity, but in quality.
Just thought that I'd record that so that I could read it later. Seeing how others are living out their life in Christ really encourages me to do the same. The thing that I need to do is actually do the same.
Every other Friday, a group of career people from our church gather together and talk about the sermon that we heard in church the previous Sunday. That is the starter for our fellowship. The conversations are good and it is really cool to see what everyone else thought of the message and how we can all learn from the insights.
Afterwards, we share what's going on in our lives and share prayer requests. It's nice to hear the good things in people's lives that God is doing. However, I've come to see that I'm just really not thankful for what I do have in my own life. I thought, "Why can't that happen to me?"
Why am I always feeling like I'm on the downside? I mean, I could be worse off than I am now. I've seen that the reason why my friends are doing so well is that they are turning to God and telling Him their fears, struggles, and needs. And then, God provides for them. Not saying that you'll get everything you want from God, but saying that He DOES answer prayers, because He loves the world.
I did feel a little envious, because I am wanting a job and good things to happen to me. But then again, good things are happening to me, even though I don't have a job, even though I can't say that I've noticed an answer to prayer. I'm sure that many are being answered, I'm just not paying attention.
And that's the thing. I just haven't been noticing things. I mean, there are some people who experience tougher things in life than me and they are thankful for what they have, even though it is very little. Here I am in America with very little wrong done to me and I'm unhappy. When someone else is happy, I'm envious. When I'm happy, my friends rejoice with me. I guess what I learned tonight is that I need to thank God for being there and showing love towards me. I should also be thankful that He loves everyone else to bless others with good things too.
My friends at the career group are all happy, because they all know God and are meeting with other people during the week.
Anyway, I'm seeing that I need to pray more and read the Bible more. I haven't been doing that consistently. I also need to talk to people more often. Being at home, away from everyone else, it doesn't come as easily as it once did. And I must also start to take chances once again.
It's funny how things work out. Because of my faith, I will say that it is God who is helping me through these things. Okay, I know what I need to do.
John 17
The message this past Sunday was on John 17...focusing on verses 20-23. Anyway, one thing that I noticed is that I need to pray more for others. Looking at Jesus, He knew that His disciples were going to go through some rough times. But he prayed for protection for them and unity. Also for us who believed the message through the disciples.
He did not pray some general prayer, but a very specific prayer for those He loved. Prayers do not need to be general and for a lot of people. One person said tonight that our prayers do not need to be in quantity, but in quality.
Just thought that I'd record that so that I could read it later. Seeing how others are living out their life in Christ really encourages me to do the same. The thing that I need to do is actually do the same.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Celebrate Good Times c'mon!
(Note this is just a description of what happened, nothing really too interesting. This is just for me to log down.)
Yesterday was my friend's birthday. A lot of people showed up, which is not surprising, because he truly is a great guy! Anyway, given all the things that he's done for people and the rapport that he has with others it would be weird if there wasn't the old group coming back.
I totally forgot his birthday...yeah shows how good of a friend I am. I've been lost in my own world for about half a year. heh.
Anyway, being the anti-social person that I am, I was thinking of not going, because I didn't want to. But I'm glad that I did. He is pretty gracious and cordial.
The place that we went to was a pretty popular restaurant. The email said 7:15, and we didn't get a seating until 8. Some people showed up about 8:15-25 and still didn't miss much.
We were there for about a hour and a half. Afterwards, we went to a bubble tea place and stayed there until 11, when it closed.
We talked about ministry and how things are going at some places. It seemed like we were all in agreement about what my friend was saying. Talking about the larger body of Christ and gathering us all together as an identity of Christ's church, not as an identity of our church that we go to. He has a bigger picture and a good understanding of the whole body, and not just an arm, or a leg. It was encouraging, but when the times comes to do something, I wonder if I'll participate.
I guess that's one thing that I've been lacking. When the times of leadership have come up, I've stepped down, because I thought that I couldn't do it. I didn't have the faith that things would turn out alright or in God's plan. Anyway, I have some things to deal with before I start doing what I did before. Plus, I have a lot to learn.
When it comes down to the rubber hitting the road, I always find that I would rather NOT take the chance anymore. I guess it all comes down to choices and what you're going to DO about it. The first step is always "turn to God". The past two years, I've put that second. Maybe that's why I'm just reluctant to start taking chances again.
When it comes down to it, I could learn a lot from my friend. He does a lot and has grown a lot because of his participation. However, he has a great heart for God and the people. The two most important things that one must have. That must come first rather than the doing part.
This lent season, I've seen that I do not place those two first anymore. That's a harsh statement and I am hard on myself sometimes. But just looking at what I do do, I've come to that conclusion.
I could write about this all I want, but what it comes down to is, "What am I going to do with my life?" Am I going to spend it with God, or am I going to do what I want to do. Looking at my friend's life, he truly is rich. Not necessarily in monetary terms, but in the relationships that he has created. Anybody that knows him will be able to tell you of his goodness. Yeah, I have a lot to learn from my friend. When you see people actually living out the life following Christ, it truly is distinct and attractive.
Anyway, I'm not that far gone, but when there should have been times of growth, there were times of shrinking. I guess what it comes down to is, what do you want in life? And the choices that you will make today. NOT tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come.
(Note this is just a description of what happened, nothing really too interesting. This is just for me to log down.)
Yesterday was my friend's birthday. A lot of people showed up, which is not surprising, because he truly is a great guy! Anyway, given all the things that he's done for people and the rapport that he has with others it would be weird if there wasn't the old group coming back.
I totally forgot his birthday...yeah shows how good of a friend I am. I've been lost in my own world for about half a year. heh.
Anyway, being the anti-social person that I am, I was thinking of not going, because I didn't want to. But I'm glad that I did. He is pretty gracious and cordial.
The place that we went to was a pretty popular restaurant. The email said 7:15, and we didn't get a seating until 8. Some people showed up about 8:15-25 and still didn't miss much.
We were there for about a hour and a half. Afterwards, we went to a bubble tea place and stayed there until 11, when it closed.
We talked about ministry and how things are going at some places. It seemed like we were all in agreement about what my friend was saying. Talking about the larger body of Christ and gathering us all together as an identity of Christ's church, not as an identity of our church that we go to. He has a bigger picture and a good understanding of the whole body, and not just an arm, or a leg. It was encouraging, but when the times comes to do something, I wonder if I'll participate.
I guess that's one thing that I've been lacking. When the times of leadership have come up, I've stepped down, because I thought that I couldn't do it. I didn't have the faith that things would turn out alright or in God's plan. Anyway, I have some things to deal with before I start doing what I did before. Plus, I have a lot to learn.
When it comes down to the rubber hitting the road, I always find that I would rather NOT take the chance anymore. I guess it all comes down to choices and what you're going to DO about it. The first step is always "turn to God". The past two years, I've put that second. Maybe that's why I'm just reluctant to start taking chances again.
When it comes down to it, I could learn a lot from my friend. He does a lot and has grown a lot because of his participation. However, he has a great heart for God and the people. The two most important things that one must have. That must come first rather than the doing part.
This lent season, I've seen that I do not place those two first anymore. That's a harsh statement and I am hard on myself sometimes. But just looking at what I do do, I've come to that conclusion.
I could write about this all I want, but what it comes down to is, "What am I going to do with my life?" Am I going to spend it with God, or am I going to do what I want to do. Looking at my friend's life, he truly is rich. Not necessarily in monetary terms, but in the relationships that he has created. Anybody that knows him will be able to tell you of his goodness. Yeah, I have a lot to learn from my friend. When you see people actually living out the life following Christ, it truly is distinct and attractive.
Anyway, I'm not that far gone, but when there should have been times of growth, there were times of shrinking. I guess what it comes down to is, what do you want in life? And the choices that you will make today. NOT tomorrow. Tomorrow may never come.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Didn't pass the test
I received my score for the Japanese Proficiency test. I didn't pass. I got a better score than I thought I would, but it wasn't enough. All I can do is prepare for next year and retake the test.
My mom is thinking that I should give up on Japanese and find something else. She could be right, but I'm not going to give up that easily.
Well...disicipline...I really need to work on that. I've done some things in disciplining myself like waking up at 10 instead of 12, but still, I could do better.
All the plans in the world won't work if you're not going to actually do it. Man, what it comes down to is one thing, will I do it? Will I put in the hours and work to make myself better at this language?
Someone told me, "If you want something, then you'll have to work for it." That's not true for everything, but in the sense of some things, it is a half truth. Sometimes, even if you work hard for something, you might not get it. But that's life. It's not fair.
However, life is fair in some sense that if you do the hard work and make consistent efforts, then you'll grow personally and have better habits which will in turn create more opportunities. Sometimes there are people who do well against all the odds. Whether in music, sports, inventions, knowledge (like science etc.), or even video games. haha. Think, some people have a natural gift to do something, but often if they don't practice, then someone else (who may not have that natural talent, but worked all his/her life at that) could beat/surpass them. It's not always set in stone, but practice does help. However, there are other factors that come into play too.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. I've got to stop talking and start studying.
I received my score for the Japanese Proficiency test. I didn't pass. I got a better score than I thought I would, but it wasn't enough. All I can do is prepare for next year and retake the test.
My mom is thinking that I should give up on Japanese and find something else. She could be right, but I'm not going to give up that easily.
Well...disicipline...I really need to work on that. I've done some things in disciplining myself like waking up at 10 instead of 12, but still, I could do better.
All the plans in the world won't work if you're not going to actually do it. Man, what it comes down to is one thing, will I do it? Will I put in the hours and work to make myself better at this language?
Someone told me, "If you want something, then you'll have to work for it." That's not true for everything, but in the sense of some things, it is a half truth. Sometimes, even if you work hard for something, you might not get it. But that's life. It's not fair.
However, life is fair in some sense that if you do the hard work and make consistent efforts, then you'll grow personally and have better habits which will in turn create more opportunities. Sometimes there are people who do well against all the odds. Whether in music, sports, inventions, knowledge (like science etc.), or even video games. haha. Think, some people have a natural gift to do something, but often if they don't practice, then someone else (who may not have that natural talent, but worked all his/her life at that) could beat/surpass them. It's not always set in stone, but practice does help. However, there are other factors that come into play too.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. I've got to stop talking and start studying.
The Past Living in me and Old Wounds
This past Saturday was a funeral for one of my inlaws. My sister married someone else and his grandmother just passed away. It was sad because 3-4 weeks earlier, the Grandmother's husband passed away.
I really didn't want to go to this funeral, because it was so close to the previous funeral. I really wanted to pay my respects to a woman who really treated me so well, but I didn't want to re-visit my past again.
Before I became Christian, I used to go to this other church in a different religion. Some of the roughest times of my life were times when I was there. It wasn't necessarily the people there...it was more of my own personal problems. Some of my worst memories were being at that church. Well...hearing stuff was never easy to deal with.
Anyway, I thought that I put all this in the past. I had forgotten about all the things that have happened until I went to the grandfather's funeral. Seeing old faces and feeling like I just couldn't talk to some of these people that I once knew. Some were bad memories, some were good. But some things that I heard said in the past really reminded me of the pain that I once felt...still felt. I'm sure that the people have changed just as I have changed. But it seemed like things were still as they once were in our relationships with each other.
Going back a second time for the second funeral in such a short time really reminded me that I was all alone back then. I was alone then and there I was still alone. It has to do with how I acted, but yeah, I felt alone again. I tried writing my feelings down on this blog, but I find it best not to write down things when I'm feeling bad. It just comes out in the wrong way and I'm thinking how I'm feeling. My feelings aren't always true to how things are and I'm glad that I postponed my writing about this.
I guess the pain of the past still lives in me. I can't blame the people of the previous church that I went to. I can't blame them, even if I want to. They may or may not have said things, but that's part of being human...people have emotions and people say or do things which may hurt others. The memories of the past are still present within me. I find that I have to forgive them for causing me pain, and hopefully if I do forgive them, I'll be able to talk to them again. I just hope that they'll forgive me and see that I have changed.
(Deleted)
Anyway, I don't want people to think that I experience Hell in some way there. It was just my problems that I experienced. Nobody really did anything to me. Human nature...it shows how much we need God. Man, I need to go to church...
Sunday
I went to church yesterday. I went after service ended. I woke up several times and went back to sleep. For some reason, I don't like waking up that early. I even tried to set my alarm early this morning to get in the habit of waking up, and found that I slept through my alarm.
Anyway, I got to church for coffee hour and went to Sunday school. I missed a good message in service, I heard. Anyway, meeting all my friends from church really helped cheer me up from the renewed memories.
I went to see "Million Dollar Baby" with the leaders of the Career group. Great movie. It touched human emotions that I'm sure a lot of people could relate to. I won't spoil the movie, but it's really good. See it if you haven't. If possible, see it with others, or organize a group outing.
Anyway, we talked about the movie afterwards and the discussion rolled onto different topics. March Madness, being part of the body at church, making it on time to church, jobs, the movie, and how when you spend a lot of time reading something, you get into that mindset.
The last one that I mention came up because I was talking about Harry Potter and how I spent maybe 5 hours a day (estimate) reading it. The wife (not mine) told me how your thinking kind of conforms to what you're reading. She told us of a book about a firm where people are cutting each other's throat and backstabbing and how she had to stop reading that because she felt like the people at her work would do that and how she must do that to stay in. I said that that's totally how I felt after reading Harry Potter for so long. I thought "so and so was going to come back" and that "so and so must be stopped!" To spare you any more details, it was interesting to see that what you put inside of yourself can influence how you think.
Anyway, getting back to "Million Dollar Baby", it really is a great movie. People from different walks of life, decisions to be made, sticking to it, and risks and chances that could pay off. I like this movie because it shows decisions and character in the people. Things aren't always black and white, sometimes you have to make a decision in what you're going to do. The characters all had decisions to make. Anyway, I won't say anymore about it. See it if you haven't, while it's still in theatres.
This past Saturday was a funeral for one of my inlaws. My sister married someone else and his grandmother just passed away. It was sad because 3-4 weeks earlier, the Grandmother's husband passed away.
I really didn't want to go to this funeral, because it was so close to the previous funeral. I really wanted to pay my respects to a woman who really treated me so well, but I didn't want to re-visit my past again.
Before I became Christian, I used to go to this other church in a different religion. Some of the roughest times of my life were times when I was there. It wasn't necessarily the people there...it was more of my own personal problems. Some of my worst memories were being at that church. Well...hearing stuff was never easy to deal with.
Anyway, I thought that I put all this in the past. I had forgotten about all the things that have happened until I went to the grandfather's funeral. Seeing old faces and feeling like I just couldn't talk to some of these people that I once knew. Some were bad memories, some were good. But some things that I heard said in the past really reminded me of the pain that I once felt...still felt. I'm sure that the people have changed just as I have changed. But it seemed like things were still as they once were in our relationships with each other.
Going back a second time for the second funeral in such a short time really reminded me that I was all alone back then. I was alone then and there I was still alone. It has to do with how I acted, but yeah, I felt alone again. I tried writing my feelings down on this blog, but I find it best not to write down things when I'm feeling bad. It just comes out in the wrong way and I'm thinking how I'm feeling. My feelings aren't always true to how things are and I'm glad that I postponed my writing about this.
I guess the pain of the past still lives in me. I can't blame the people of the previous church that I went to. I can't blame them, even if I want to. They may or may not have said things, but that's part of being human...people have emotions and people say or do things which may hurt others. The memories of the past are still present within me. I find that I have to forgive them for causing me pain, and hopefully if I do forgive them, I'll be able to talk to them again. I just hope that they'll forgive me and see that I have changed.
(Deleted)
Anyway, I don't want people to think that I experience Hell in some way there. It was just my problems that I experienced. Nobody really did anything to me. Human nature...it shows how much we need God. Man, I need to go to church...
Sunday
I went to church yesterday. I went after service ended. I woke up several times and went back to sleep. For some reason, I don't like waking up that early. I even tried to set my alarm early this morning to get in the habit of waking up, and found that I slept through my alarm.
Anyway, I got to church for coffee hour and went to Sunday school. I missed a good message in service, I heard. Anyway, meeting all my friends from church really helped cheer me up from the renewed memories.
I went to see "Million Dollar Baby" with the leaders of the Career group. Great movie. It touched human emotions that I'm sure a lot of people could relate to. I won't spoil the movie, but it's really good. See it if you haven't. If possible, see it with others, or organize a group outing.
Anyway, we talked about the movie afterwards and the discussion rolled onto different topics. March Madness, being part of the body at church, making it on time to church, jobs, the movie, and how when you spend a lot of time reading something, you get into that mindset.
The last one that I mention came up because I was talking about Harry Potter and how I spent maybe 5 hours a day (estimate) reading it. The wife (not mine) told me how your thinking kind of conforms to what you're reading. She told us of a book about a firm where people are cutting each other's throat and backstabbing and how she had to stop reading that because she felt like the people at her work would do that and how she must do that to stay in. I said that that's totally how I felt after reading Harry Potter for so long. I thought "so and so was going to come back" and that "so and so must be stopped!" To spare you any more details, it was interesting to see that what you put inside of yourself can influence how you think.
Anyway, getting back to "Million Dollar Baby", it really is a great movie. People from different walks of life, decisions to be made, sticking to it, and risks and chances that could pay off. I like this movie because it shows decisions and character in the people. Things aren't always black and white, sometimes you have to make a decision in what you're going to do. The characters all had decisions to make. Anyway, I won't say anymore about it. See it if you haven't, while it's still in theatres.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Digging up the old games
I was looking on Ebay to see what games they have for sale. I found lots of the good games that I've played for under $10...some under $5. I'm referring to the old Nintendo Entertainment System. Can you believe that each of these games cost $50 back in the day? They were the IN thing back then for kids. Many of the gamers now that were born in the very late 70s or early 80s started on this system.
One of the things that I learned about Japan was that it was dominating the economy around that time. They sold things cheaper and better than the American and European counterparts. They sold digital watches, radios, VCRs, TVs, and eventually good cars. No wonder they even took over the video game department from Atari.
It was also a time when the US economy wasn't doing so well. (I'm not sure, but I heard stories.) Anyway, people were complaining about Japan dominating everything and the US economy not doing so well. I remember even when they had commercials saying, "Buy it ONLY if it says, 'MADE IN THE USA.'" I even think that my boss at the University library couldn't find a job during those times and ended up still at the library.
Anyway, that's all in the past and I really do like the games that Japan makes. However, the PC games that some companies make here are really good. Blizzard is one of the good companies. I think that Sierra shut down. Activision is still around and EA too (even though I think that they could do better on some games.)
Anyway, I've made some bids on some games and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have. Having no job and such... Anyway, the games that I bid on are really good games for the time and sometimes I prefer some of the old school games to some of the new ones. I guess that shows how out of touch I am with some of the new systems.
I have been looking at all the old games that I do have and have looked at all the money that went into these games. Was this really a good use of my money? Especially now that they can be bought at such a reduced rate. That, or downloaded for free. (I'm not recommending that to anyone though.)
Games nowadays have 1st person perspective (literally seeing the world through the eyes of the character.) They literally give me motion sickness. It doesn't mean that they're not well made, but I just have trouble playing games like that. I think that the reason is that one of my eyes is dominant, so one eye sees everything clearly, while one eye sees things blurred. The fast movements give me a headache. It's better when I play those games with glasses, but still I get a little quesy.
Anyway, the old games were the stepping stone for the games nowadays. Things that look so bad in the old games, compared to today's standards, were probably advanced graphics for the time. It's amazing to see what they can create now. But for me, I'm probably going to be trying to beat all the old games that I never got around to playing.
I was looking on Ebay to see what games they have for sale. I found lots of the good games that I've played for under $10...some under $5. I'm referring to the old Nintendo Entertainment System. Can you believe that each of these games cost $50 back in the day? They were the IN thing back then for kids. Many of the gamers now that were born in the very late 70s or early 80s started on this system.
One of the things that I learned about Japan was that it was dominating the economy around that time. They sold things cheaper and better than the American and European counterparts. They sold digital watches, radios, VCRs, TVs, and eventually good cars. No wonder they even took over the video game department from Atari.
It was also a time when the US economy wasn't doing so well. (I'm not sure, but I heard stories.) Anyway, people were complaining about Japan dominating everything and the US economy not doing so well. I remember even when they had commercials saying, "Buy it ONLY if it says, 'MADE IN THE USA.'" I even think that my boss at the University library couldn't find a job during those times and ended up still at the library.
Anyway, that's all in the past and I really do like the games that Japan makes. However, the PC games that some companies make here are really good. Blizzard is one of the good companies. I think that Sierra shut down. Activision is still around and EA too (even though I think that they could do better on some games.)
Anyway, I've made some bids on some games and I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have. Having no job and such... Anyway, the games that I bid on are really good games for the time and sometimes I prefer some of the old school games to some of the new ones. I guess that shows how out of touch I am with some of the new systems.
I have been looking at all the old games that I do have and have looked at all the money that went into these games. Was this really a good use of my money? Especially now that they can be bought at such a reduced rate. That, or downloaded for free. (I'm not recommending that to anyone though.)
Games nowadays have 1st person perspective (literally seeing the world through the eyes of the character.) They literally give me motion sickness. It doesn't mean that they're not well made, but I just have trouble playing games like that. I think that the reason is that one of my eyes is dominant, so one eye sees everything clearly, while one eye sees things blurred. The fast movements give me a headache. It's better when I play those games with glasses, but still I get a little quesy.
Anyway, the old games were the stepping stone for the games nowadays. Things that look so bad in the old games, compared to today's standards, were probably advanced graphics for the time. It's amazing to see what they can create now. But for me, I'm probably going to be trying to beat all the old games that I never got around to playing.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Things aren't as bad as they seem...now
I went to my interview today. I arrived there 15 minutes earlier than the time that they gave me. It just so happened that the time they gave me was 15 minutes earlier than the time that I was scheduled to be there. More time for me to think of what to say.
The people there seemed friendly enough. Most of them seemed older...but I guess that's how it is everywhere. There seems to be a lot of older people working at jobs and few youth.
The interviewer who was showing me around the place told me that if I were hired, I would eat with my unit. It doesn't seem so bad at all.
I would be answering calls one after the other. Apparently there is not a line for Japanese, so they interviewed me in English and I just role played as a customer service person. Apparently they might test my Japanese later if they deem me worthy enough. heh.
I think that it went okay. I just wish that they told me what they were going to interview me on. They told me that I would be tested on my Japanese, but apparently, I was only supposed to be tested on my customer service skills. They had no word that I was going to be tested on my Japanese. That's not a bad thing, but it just means that I have another interview to go to if they deem me worthy.
It seems like things will work out. My friend who is going on the mission that the minister wanted me also to go on encouraged me by telling me that he hopes that I get this job. It was because of him that I found this job. He really is a good guy and a good friend.
I'm wondering...if things work out with the job, should I take the job? Should I forgo the mission? It seems like my friends told me that I'm at the working stage of my life and need to earn some income to feed myself. If I do get this job, then I think that a certain mission is the only mission that I will be able to do. Unless, I feel called to drop work and do a mission. Maybe more years doing service at church and homeless feeding will help in my growth.
I still kind of wonder...how do you know if God is calling you to do something? How do you know if He wants you to do something? I'm not sure which path I should take. I'm not sure if I should do this mission...but I want to do it. I think that it would be more challenging than things that I've done in school. It would be fun, and rewarding. Most of all, it would be an opportunity to make a difference in someone else's life.
The last reason seems to be the only reason that I have for going. All the others seem like they're for myself. Is personal growth and desire to grow in faith wrong? I answer that by saying, "It's not wrong, but if you do not care for the people first in this mission, then it probably is wrong." That's just my opinion. Right now, I'm wondering what my motives for going are. I don't even know that much about the culture that I would be going into...we'll see though.
I'm thinking that I'm probably not going to retire from this agency if I do get the job. I wonder if I could do a mission after I quit from there. But then I think...if I have a family of my own, then it's going to be tough. Not that I have anybody in my life, but still, you'll never know what will happen in the future. Anyway, much to think and pray about.
I went to my interview today. I arrived there 15 minutes earlier than the time that they gave me. It just so happened that the time they gave me was 15 minutes earlier than the time that I was scheduled to be there. More time for me to think of what to say.
The people there seemed friendly enough. Most of them seemed older...but I guess that's how it is everywhere. There seems to be a lot of older people working at jobs and few youth.
The interviewer who was showing me around the place told me that if I were hired, I would eat with my unit. It doesn't seem so bad at all.
I would be answering calls one after the other. Apparently there is not a line for Japanese, so they interviewed me in English and I just role played as a customer service person. Apparently they might test my Japanese later if they deem me worthy enough. heh.
I think that it went okay. I just wish that they told me what they were going to interview me on. They told me that I would be tested on my Japanese, but apparently, I was only supposed to be tested on my customer service skills. They had no word that I was going to be tested on my Japanese. That's not a bad thing, but it just means that I have another interview to go to if they deem me worthy.
It seems like things will work out. My friend who is going on the mission that the minister wanted me also to go on encouraged me by telling me that he hopes that I get this job. It was because of him that I found this job. He really is a good guy and a good friend.
I'm wondering...if things work out with the job, should I take the job? Should I forgo the mission? It seems like my friends told me that I'm at the working stage of my life and need to earn some income to feed myself. If I do get this job, then I think that a certain mission is the only mission that I will be able to do. Unless, I feel called to drop work and do a mission. Maybe more years doing service at church and homeless feeding will help in my growth.
I still kind of wonder...how do you know if God is calling you to do something? How do you know if He wants you to do something? I'm not sure which path I should take. I'm not sure if I should do this mission...but I want to do it. I think that it would be more challenging than things that I've done in school. It would be fun, and rewarding. Most of all, it would be an opportunity to make a difference in someone else's life.
The last reason seems to be the only reason that I have for going. All the others seem like they're for myself. Is personal growth and desire to grow in faith wrong? I answer that by saying, "It's not wrong, but if you do not care for the people first in this mission, then it probably is wrong." That's just my opinion. Right now, I'm wondering what my motives for going are. I don't even know that much about the culture that I would be going into...we'll see though.
I'm thinking that I'm probably not going to retire from this agency if I do get the job. I wonder if I could do a mission after I quit from there. But then I think...if I have a family of my own, then it's going to be tough. Not that I have anybody in my life, but still, you'll never know what will happen in the future. Anyway, much to think and pray about.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Made it to Church, but challenged
I made it to church today. My mom woke me up a quarter to 9. I got up around 8:55 heh. Anyway, my friends are really great. They encouraged me to come to church this past Friday after fellowship. It's tough to get up, but going to church is really important. Along with praying, reading the Bible, understanding and applying.
Today was a guest speaker. She had some good words, which I agree with, but it does make me nervous to go out and do what she was talking about. I guess if it were easy, then more of us would be doing this, (including me), and we wouldn't need to hear a word about this.
I really don't want to be someone who just goes to church and has no relationship or nothing to show for my faith. But after one event in my life, things seemed to change, and I became an underachiever. That event was very tough and troubling for me. The event troubled me because I lost my support from one fellowship and I was basically trying to help someone who was potentially dangerous by myself. When I told someone about this event today he told me that it is always better to have someone else there to help you. When trying to help someone else, it always helps to have someone else who has the same concerns and can give you feedback. Two heads are always better than one.
I eventually gave up and cut contact with this person. He was also causing me to sin as well. But the things that happened still resonate with me. I guess I can't keep living in the past, but I can't but help be afraid of what might come in the future.
I saw myself in this person that I was trying to help and I saw myself in him, but me several years back. When I denied him help, I felt like I was denying myself. (Not in the Christian sense, but in a psychological sense.) Well, I guess that's what I get for asking God to test me...you get tests that are really tough. Very dangerous prayer indeed.
Anyway, the event that I was talking about happened several years ago. Someone mentioned for me to see a Christian counselor. I never did. I "think" I'm okay with what happened. I think that I'm okay with trying to do things alone. But the truth is, I'm still not and I still haven't let this go. Anyway, I am doing alright.
Well, I guess this event will always stick with me. Memories this traumatic will stay with a person. It affects me today, but I'm managing to get by.
I guess I could talk about this all I want to, but the fact that comes down to it is how am I going to respond? It depends on me and if I can trust God with my life once again, or will I try to hold onto leading a "safe" life?
Things which nobody can answer for me, but things that I have to really make decisions in. I am amazed at the people of faith in some parts. They really do great things and change lives with their faithfulness to God. Getting back to the speaker, I can see her church doing really great things for the people around them. I'm sure they do great things in Jesus' name.
That was a really challenging message for me to hear. Mainly because I have reservations about doing what I once did. But I can remember being the happiest I was in my whole life when I did those things. I can honestly say, however, that I did not have the correct views and I didn't develop relationships with the people that well. But, when I did take chances for Jesus, I experienced a great blessing. People really are great, even though people have flaws.
Anyway, I'm not saying go out there and do something crazy for Jesus. What I'm saying is, is that I'm having trouble actually loving the people around me. Those that I walk by, those who are homeless, those who I know. She challenged us to do more than just give a word of encouragement, but to do things for the long term with people that we come into contact with. I'm wondering how I can apply these things...
Man, she was a really great speaker, and she has a great love for God and the people. I think that her church that she pastors is in the city. Maybe inner city, because she described people like "crackheads" in whom she encouraged us to reach out to. Very challenging...but she said that there were people like that close to where they are. (Crackheads was just an example that she gave.)
I guess if you are to follow God, you should try to have the same heart that God has for those around you. Jesus ministered to Tax collectors and Prostitutes. As the speaker said, "We've got to show love to those whom society shuns." If you think about it, the church shuns homosexuals. I'm not condoning actions that a homosexual does, but still, they are loved by God too and we too should love them as God would.
It's tough, yeah, but following God is never easy. Anyway, I don't have all the answers, which is obvious. But yeah, I thought that the speaker had a word and I will try to follow it and apply it to my life. I'm going to have lots of trouble in this...I'm thinking...
One of the encouraging things that she said was, "You don't have to preach to them." But she encouraged us to do more than just give a word of blessing, but to apply the blessing and help the person in some way.
Anyway, I've got to think more about this.
I made it to church today. My mom woke me up a quarter to 9. I got up around 8:55 heh. Anyway, my friends are really great. They encouraged me to come to church this past Friday after fellowship. It's tough to get up, but going to church is really important. Along with praying, reading the Bible, understanding and applying.
Today was a guest speaker. She had some good words, which I agree with, but it does make me nervous to go out and do what she was talking about. I guess if it were easy, then more of us would be doing this, (including me), and we wouldn't need to hear a word about this.
I really don't want to be someone who just goes to church and has no relationship or nothing to show for my faith. But after one event in my life, things seemed to change, and I became an underachiever. That event was very tough and troubling for me. The event troubled me because I lost my support from one fellowship and I was basically trying to help someone who was potentially dangerous by myself. When I told someone about this event today he told me that it is always better to have someone else there to help you. When trying to help someone else, it always helps to have someone else who has the same concerns and can give you feedback. Two heads are always better than one.
I eventually gave up and cut contact with this person. He was also causing me to sin as well. But the things that happened still resonate with me. I guess I can't keep living in the past, but I can't but help be afraid of what might come in the future.
I saw myself in this person that I was trying to help and I saw myself in him, but me several years back. When I denied him help, I felt like I was denying myself. (Not in the Christian sense, but in a psychological sense.) Well, I guess that's what I get for asking God to test me...you get tests that are really tough. Very dangerous prayer indeed.
Anyway, the event that I was talking about happened several years ago. Someone mentioned for me to see a Christian counselor. I never did. I "think" I'm okay with what happened. I think that I'm okay with trying to do things alone. But the truth is, I'm still not and I still haven't let this go. Anyway, I am doing alright.
Well, I guess this event will always stick with me. Memories this traumatic will stay with a person. It affects me today, but I'm managing to get by.
I guess I could talk about this all I want to, but the fact that comes down to it is how am I going to respond? It depends on me and if I can trust God with my life once again, or will I try to hold onto leading a "safe" life?
Things which nobody can answer for me, but things that I have to really make decisions in. I am amazed at the people of faith in some parts. They really do great things and change lives with their faithfulness to God. Getting back to the speaker, I can see her church doing really great things for the people around them. I'm sure they do great things in Jesus' name.
That was a really challenging message for me to hear. Mainly because I have reservations about doing what I once did. But I can remember being the happiest I was in my whole life when I did those things. I can honestly say, however, that I did not have the correct views and I didn't develop relationships with the people that well. But, when I did take chances for Jesus, I experienced a great blessing. People really are great, even though people have flaws.
Anyway, I'm not saying go out there and do something crazy for Jesus. What I'm saying is, is that I'm having trouble actually loving the people around me. Those that I walk by, those who are homeless, those who I know. She challenged us to do more than just give a word of encouragement, but to do things for the long term with people that we come into contact with. I'm wondering how I can apply these things...
Man, she was a really great speaker, and she has a great love for God and the people. I think that her church that she pastors is in the city. Maybe inner city, because she described people like "crackheads" in whom she encouraged us to reach out to. Very challenging...but she said that there were people like that close to where they are. (Crackheads was just an example that she gave.)
I guess if you are to follow God, you should try to have the same heart that God has for those around you. Jesus ministered to Tax collectors and Prostitutes. As the speaker said, "We've got to show love to those whom society shuns." If you think about it, the church shuns homosexuals. I'm not condoning actions that a homosexual does, but still, they are loved by God too and we too should love them as God would.
It's tough, yeah, but following God is never easy. Anyway, I don't have all the answers, which is obvious. But yeah, I thought that the speaker had a word and I will try to follow it and apply it to my life. I'm going to have lots of trouble in this...I'm thinking...
One of the encouraging things that she said was, "You don't have to preach to them." But she encouraged us to do more than just give a word of blessing, but to apply the blessing and help the person in some way.
Anyway, I've got to think more about this.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Sometimes I wonder why I'm here. What purpose do I have on this earth? The only one that I can think of is, "Glorify God and love God and your neighbor."
I'm finding that I need to stop, look, and listen. You may not know what I'm talking about. But some things can be put into perspective when you slow down.
I'm finding that I need to stop, look, and listen. You may not know what I'm talking about. But some things can be put into perspective when you slow down.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Song I'm currently listening to is "Sinking"
By Jars of Clay (Their 1st CD)
As much as I want to say that I don't need God, I need Him. I want to do things by myself, but as it seems, I haven't been able to. I want to stand tall and be someone. But without Him, I'm nothing.
There are some great lines in this song.
Bridge:
You see that I can play a pretty convincing role,
so I don't need you, I don't think
I need you
Chorus:
But you see through my forever lies
And you are not believing
And I see in your forever eyes
And you are forever healing
I need God more than anything or anybody else in the world. What He did for me and what He does for me are just a character of who He is. But sometimes I just don't want to have to rely on others. I sometimes want to do things alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm just want to be free of everything.
But what I have learned is, you're either a slave to sin, or a slave to God. Being a servant to God is not a bad thing, because He is really a great God! (The only God.) But, as shown in the scripture of the previous post, I'm finding that it's not easy. It's easier to be a slave to sin.
Well...I think that I'd rather be a slave to God. I'll have to talk to some others about some things about this mission. I'm still not sure what God wants me to do, but I'm thinking that He wants me to go on this mission. But we'll see. I'm not sure which path I will take. And yes, I am praying about this.
By Jars of Clay (Their 1st CD)
As much as I want to say that I don't need God, I need Him. I want to do things by myself, but as it seems, I haven't been able to. I want to stand tall and be someone. But without Him, I'm nothing.
There are some great lines in this song.
Bridge:
You see that I can play a pretty convincing role,
so I don't need you, I don't think
I need you
Chorus:
But you see through my forever lies
And you are not believing
And I see in your forever eyes
And you are forever healing
I need God more than anything or anybody else in the world. What He did for me and what He does for me are just a character of who He is. But sometimes I just don't want to have to rely on others. I sometimes want to do things alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm just want to be free of everything.
But what I have learned is, you're either a slave to sin, or a slave to God. Being a servant to God is not a bad thing, because He is really a great God! (The only God.) But, as shown in the scripture of the previous post, I'm finding that it's not easy. It's easier to be a slave to sin.
Well...I think that I'd rather be a slave to God. I'll have to talk to some others about some things about this mission. I'm still not sure what God wants me to do, but I'm thinking that He wants me to go on this mission. But we'll see. I'm not sure which path I will take. And yes, I am praying about this.
After Two to Three Weeks
I wasn't expecting a call from this one agency that I applied to. So much so that last week I stopped studying Japanese for a bit. I thought, "they're never going to call me." But, sure enough, they did and I have an interview on Monday.
Anyway, the game testing job interview is postponed, so I don't know when they're going to call me about that. I still have doubts as to whether or not I'm going to get a job. But hey, there's nothing to lose by preparing. The only thing that you lose is time, while you gain skills that could be used for "various purposes."
I'm not sure how the Japanese interview is going to go, being that I don't have that much confidence in my Japanese and I don't have that much recent contact with another Japanese speaking person. But I figure I have nothing to lose. If I don't get the job, then I'm not any worse off than when I started. But that's no excuse to not give it 100%.
The only thing that I'm concerned about is, if I do get this job, then I probably won't consider going to Brazil for missions. But, it seems like an one and only opportunity to do something like this. I guess if I really wanted to do it, then I should have done it maybe two years ago. I felt however, that I was not ready to go during those times.
It's funny how things turn out. When I do get some job offers, a mission comes up. I'm still not sure what God wants me to do. I'm thinking that I should go on the mission. But more of what I'm thinking is, "what am I going to do after the mission?" And if I didn't feel like going on the mission last year, then why would it be any different? I guess the answer to the last question is that I've changed...or at least I think I have.
The verse in Luke, "Anyone who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." I'm thinking, if I seek to make my life the way I want it to be, then I won't be following Jesus.
The image of Jesus driving a car and me following him in another car comes to mind. Recently, I've felt like I'm not in the passenger's seat, but trying to follow Him as best I can from a different car. From the image of sitting in the passenger's seat, it sounds to me like you're doing nothing at all while Jesus is driving. However, in my life, I've made some decisions that just shows what a bad steward I was. The image of me doing nothing, and Jesus doing everything gave me that picture. That's why I think that the original analogy or sitting in the passenger's seat is flawed and I have to do my best to "follow Him"by making the right decisions. Granted it's hard to make a perfect analogy, but man, I really did not use what He gave me to the best.
I can't say that I'm doing a very good job at following Jesus. But I just hope that there will be some directions. Hmm...I think the Bible is a good place to look. Plus prayer.
The verse that I was referring to is Luke 14:33. The whole chapter in context is found here. So with that said, I'm wondering, "Does God really want me to go on this mission? Or does He want me to get a job instead?" Direction...I'm leaning towards mission...but still, I'm not sure.
I'll ask my friends at fellowship tonight what they think and get their feedback. Hopefully G-Sak is going to be there. I'm not sure if he's back from Japan yet, but I'm thinking so.
I wasn't expecting a call from this one agency that I applied to. So much so that last week I stopped studying Japanese for a bit. I thought, "they're never going to call me." But, sure enough, they did and I have an interview on Monday.
Anyway, the game testing job interview is postponed, so I don't know when they're going to call me about that. I still have doubts as to whether or not I'm going to get a job. But hey, there's nothing to lose by preparing. The only thing that you lose is time, while you gain skills that could be used for "various purposes."
I'm not sure how the Japanese interview is going to go, being that I don't have that much confidence in my Japanese and I don't have that much recent contact with another Japanese speaking person. But I figure I have nothing to lose. If I don't get the job, then I'm not any worse off than when I started. But that's no excuse to not give it 100%.
The only thing that I'm concerned about is, if I do get this job, then I probably won't consider going to Brazil for missions. But, it seems like an one and only opportunity to do something like this. I guess if I really wanted to do it, then I should have done it maybe two years ago. I felt however, that I was not ready to go during those times.
It's funny how things turn out. When I do get some job offers, a mission comes up. I'm still not sure what God wants me to do. I'm thinking that I should go on the mission. But more of what I'm thinking is, "what am I going to do after the mission?" And if I didn't feel like going on the mission last year, then why would it be any different? I guess the answer to the last question is that I've changed...or at least I think I have.
The verse in Luke, "Anyone who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." I'm thinking, if I seek to make my life the way I want it to be, then I won't be following Jesus.
The image of Jesus driving a car and me following him in another car comes to mind. Recently, I've felt like I'm not in the passenger's seat, but trying to follow Him as best I can from a different car. From the image of sitting in the passenger's seat, it sounds to me like you're doing nothing at all while Jesus is driving. However, in my life, I've made some decisions that just shows what a bad steward I was. The image of me doing nothing, and Jesus doing everything gave me that picture. That's why I think that the original analogy or sitting in the passenger's seat is flawed and I have to do my best to "follow Him"by making the right decisions. Granted it's hard to make a perfect analogy, but man, I really did not use what He gave me to the best.
I can't say that I'm doing a very good job at following Jesus. But I just hope that there will be some directions. Hmm...I think the Bible is a good place to look. Plus prayer.
The verse that I was referring to is Luke 14:33. The whole chapter in context is found here. So with that said, I'm wondering, "Does God really want me to go on this mission? Or does He want me to get a job instead?" Direction...I'm leaning towards mission...but still, I'm not sure.
I'll ask my friends at fellowship tonight what they think and get their feedback. Hopefully G-Sak is going to be there. I'm not sure if he's back from Japan yet, but I'm thinking so.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
New or Used
I found this page funny. It might change over time, but for right now if you look at it the game sells new for $39.99. It sells used for $44.99. It seems to be a popular game as both are out of stock. Anyway, here's the link.
And no, I'm not thinking of buying it. But what I did find interesting is that they're making these types of games nowadays. All the kids who played Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy are grown up and want more adult like games. Anyway, it's rated Teen, not mature, so I'm guessing that they're nothing really that bad in there.
No More Free "Betrayal at Krondor"
Sierra isn't giving Betrayal at Krondor for free on its website anymore. I never could get it to work on my Windows 98 platform, but man, it was a good game. I still play Return to Krondor. The storyline for Betrayal at Krondor was a lot better and it had some things which I really liked.
1. You could gain skills by doing things repeatedly
2. You could pick up a guitar, practice, and if you got good enough, you could earn money in every bar that you went into and have no worries about money.
3. The storyline in Betrayal at Krondor is so much better Return to Krondor. It was a book before a game however so I guess it makes more sense.
Sierra, in my opinion, went downhill after they switched from typing the commands in and letting you use the information from "look" to changing to a method of moving your mouse on what you find interesting and clicking on it. Clicking just doesn't seem to be as much fun and it doesn't help the brain think.
Anyway, as I mentioned before, it really doesn't work on the computers today. This game was created when DOS was dominant and before Windows became the only microsoft OS. I still have trouble understanding memory and how to minimize everything so that I can play this game.
Anyway, I have it on an old computer somewhere...I just need to transfer it.
I found this page funny. It might change over time, but for right now if you look at it the game sells new for $39.99. It sells used for $44.99. It seems to be a popular game as both are out of stock. Anyway, here's the link.
And no, I'm not thinking of buying it. But what I did find interesting is that they're making these types of games nowadays. All the kids who played Nintendo RPGs like Final Fantasy are grown up and want more adult like games. Anyway, it's rated Teen, not mature, so I'm guessing that they're nothing really that bad in there.
No More Free "Betrayal at Krondor"
Sierra isn't giving Betrayal at Krondor for free on its website anymore. I never could get it to work on my Windows 98 platform, but man, it was a good game. I still play Return to Krondor. The storyline for Betrayal at Krondor was a lot better and it had some things which I really liked.
1. You could gain skills by doing things repeatedly
2. You could pick up a guitar, practice, and if you got good enough, you could earn money in every bar that you went into and have no worries about money.
3. The storyline in Betrayal at Krondor is so much better Return to Krondor. It was a book before a game however so I guess it makes more sense.
Sierra, in my opinion, went downhill after they switched from typing the commands in and letting you use the information from "look" to changing to a method of moving your mouse on what you find interesting and clicking on it. Clicking just doesn't seem to be as much fun and it doesn't help the brain think.
Anyway, as I mentioned before, it really doesn't work on the computers today. This game was created when DOS was dominant and before Windows became the only microsoft OS. I still have trouble understanding memory and how to minimize everything so that I can play this game.
Anyway, I have it on an old computer somewhere...I just need to transfer it.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Decisions to make
I posted earlier that I was asked to go on a mission. I'm not sure if God wants me to go on the mission, but I think that He might. I kind of wonder, because I haven't been going to church for the past 7 weeks. I want to go to church, but something inside of me dreads going to church. Maybe that's why I'm always finding that I'm going back to sleep.
Anyway, I have an interview on Friday for a game testing job. If I am accepted, then I'll be game testing for 9 months. The pay is not great, because the level of education that they expect is only high school graduate. Hey, what can you expect from a game testing job? Anyway, I'm not sure what I should do. I guess I'll see what happens after the interview.
I've been praying about this, and for some reason, I thought that God wanted me to go to the interview. I'm getting mixed messages here. I need to earn some income, but I'm wondering if the mission would be much better, even though it would cause some complications with money. I'd have to wait until after summer ends to find a job. And by then, I'll be in some real trouble with finances.
I talked this over with my dad (the mission) and he thinks that I should earn some income and go on the mission later. My dad doesn't believe in Jesus so I can understand his viewpoint. But moreso, it would be much harder to not find a job for so long and go on a mission and come back with no income. I guess I could always work at Costco and push carts until then. hmm....
Anyway, I'm really not sure what I should do. Should I go on a mission? Or should I try to get a job?
Part of me wants to go on the mission, but part of me doesn't. I guess it depends on me. Do I want to do this? That's the question that I need to answer. Well...I'm sure the mission would be so much more fun than testing a video game for 9 months. But we'll see.
I posted earlier that I was asked to go on a mission. I'm not sure if God wants me to go on the mission, but I think that He might. I kind of wonder, because I haven't been going to church for the past 7 weeks. I want to go to church, but something inside of me dreads going to church. Maybe that's why I'm always finding that I'm going back to sleep.
Anyway, I have an interview on Friday for a game testing job. If I am accepted, then I'll be game testing for 9 months. The pay is not great, because the level of education that they expect is only high school graduate. Hey, what can you expect from a game testing job? Anyway, I'm not sure what I should do. I guess I'll see what happens after the interview.
I've been praying about this, and for some reason, I thought that God wanted me to go to the interview. I'm getting mixed messages here. I need to earn some income, but I'm wondering if the mission would be much better, even though it would cause some complications with money. I'd have to wait until after summer ends to find a job. And by then, I'll be in some real trouble with finances.
I talked this over with my dad (the mission) and he thinks that I should earn some income and go on the mission later. My dad doesn't believe in Jesus so I can understand his viewpoint. But moreso, it would be much harder to not find a job for so long and go on a mission and come back with no income. I guess I could always work at Costco and push carts until then. hmm....
Anyway, I'm really not sure what I should do. Should I go on a mission? Or should I try to get a job?
Part of me wants to go on the mission, but part of me doesn't. I guess it depends on me. Do I want to do this? That's the question that I need to answer. Well...I'm sure the mission would be so much more fun than testing a video game for 9 months. But we'll see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)